Ask Dilbert Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for ask dilbert comic strips. Discover the best "Ask Dilbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #wearing, #undewear, #fired, #company, #layoff, #plan, #generous, #leave, #freedom, #local, #management, #dealing

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Dilbert says to Wally, "Uh . . . Wally, you're wearing only underwear at work." Wally says, "I'm trying to get fired." Wally explains as the Boss approaches, "The company layoff plan is very generous. I'll get a big pile of money if they ask me to leave." Wally puts his boxer shorts on the Boss's head and says, "This has given me a degree of freedom in dealing with local management."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #questions, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #newsletter, #clueless, #people, #technical, #marvel, #desktop, #publishing, #immense, #wisdom

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Dogbert sits at a desk typing. Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and asks, "What's this?" Dogbert replies, "I'm starting my own newsletter for clueless people." Dogbert continues, "Thanks to the technical marvel of desktop publishing, clueless people will now have the benefit of my immense wisdom." Dilbert asks, "How do you know who the clueless people are?" Dogbert replies, "They ask a lot of questions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #training, #company, #overpriced, #inferior, #products, #quotas, #illegally

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Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #dog, #computer, #working

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Ted sits at his desk. Dilbert asks, "What are you up to, Ted?" Ted replies, "I'm working like a dog lately." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I'd better not ask." Ted scratches his head with his foot.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #employees, #valuable, #asset, #the boss, #afraid, #carbon, #paper

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Dilbert, Wally, Ted and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've been saying for years that 'employees are our most valuable asset.'" The Boss continues, "It turns out that I was wrong. Money is our most valuable asset. Employees are ninth." Wally says, "I'm afraid to ask what came in eighth." The Boss replies, "Carbon paper."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #eliminated, #tedious, #consuming, #process, #computer

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Dilbert shows the Boss new computer hardware and tells him, "For only twenty-five thousand dollars I've eliminated many tedious and time-consuming processes." The Boss asks, "What would be an example of one of those tedious and time-consuming processes?" Dilbert replies, "Well, there was the process of sitting around and wishing I had more computer stuff . . ." The Boss thinks, "Next time don't ask."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #pants, #twelve-inch, #waist, #inches, #secret, #retail, #success, #merchandise, #shop, #harder, #retail store

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Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Excuse me, do you have any pants that AREN'T a twelve-inch waist and fifty inches long?" Dilbert holds up a pair of tiny pants and says, "I ask because there are no human beings who could wear these pants, and one of the secrets of retail success is to stock merchandise that somebody might want." Dilbert continues, "Then people would shop here and actually BUY things." The clerk replies, "Wow, that's way harder than what we do."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #compulsive, #grabbing, #ocd

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Alice walks down the hall thinking, "I am Alice the Compulsive Grabber." Alice thinks, "When I see things that are not right I must grab them." Alice grabs Dilbert's tie. Dilbert says, "In an hour or so I may have to ask you to stop that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #business meeting

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The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Does anybody have any questions about our plan? Ask me anything - there are no 'stupid' questions." A man asks, "If you crossed the international date line on your birthday, would you still get presents?" The Boss thinks, "Oh great . . . There ARE stupid questions and I don't know the answers."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #more than me, #like computer, #girl friend, #jealous of computer, #that computer, #ask about lap top

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Dilbert sits at his computer. Liz says to Dilbert, "I think you like that computer more than you like me." Dilbert responds, "That's not true, Liz. I do NOT like that computer more than I like you." Dilbert thinks to himself, "Please, please don't ask about the laptop." Liz asks, "'That' computer?"