Being Bought Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for being bought comic strips. Discover the best "Being Bought" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #creep, #super powers of creep, #sexy, #oomp, #flirt with alice, #creep and alice

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The feature creep Creep: Being a feature creep is like having a super power. Thats what makes me so sexy. Alice: comp Creep: That romp sound just bought you a new feature, missy,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #travel request, #apporved, #otherwise, #being useless, #olympic sport

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Dilbert approaches the Boss. He asks, "Did you look at my travel request?" The Boss replies, "Not yet." The Boss continues, "Assume it's approved unless I tell you otherwise." Dilbert replies, "It's too bad that being useless isn't an Olympic sport."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #man hating supervisor, #fired, #being a man, #happy to be man, #dances, #asok happy

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Headline: Man-Hating Supervisor. Asok is sitting at his desk. The supervisor approaches and says, "You're being fired for being a man." Asok replies, "No one has ever called me a man before! This is the happiest day of my life!" Asok dances around and shouts, "I'm a MAN!" The supervisor exclaims, "Stop enjoying life!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #done in 30days, #faster than light, #discover doorway, #sounds iffy, #being flexible

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Dilbert asks a business associate, "Can you get this done in thirty days?" The business associate replies, "Yes, absolutely." The business associate continues, "We'll just travel faster than light to a black hole and discover a doorway in time." Dilbert replies, "That sounds iffy." The business associate says, "Excuse me for being flexible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feng shui, #office, #trerrible, #energy being drained, #computer fan

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Carol enters The Boss' office and says, "The feng shui in your office is terrible." The Boss replies, "It is?" Carol says, "That hum... it's the sound of your energy being drained into the internet." Dilbert asks Carol, "Who told him that his computer fan is killing him?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #summarize for ceo, #obliterate persuasiveness, #being wordy

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The Boss hands Dilbert a stack of papers and says, "Can you summarize this on one page for our CEO?" Dilbert responds, "Yes, but it will obliterate the persuasiveness of the document and cost us billions in lost opportunity." The Boss responds, "I see your point, but being wordy is bad, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #record loss, #press release, #ceo stepped down, #100 million, #tenure, #shareholders, #bought stock

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Dilbert is working on his computer. Wally is standing behind him. Dilbert says, "Here's the press release about our record loss." Dilbert reads, "The CEO stepped down after earning more than $100 million more than the company itself during his tenure." Dilbert continues reading, "In a message to shareholders, he said, 'Ha ha! Maybe you should have bought stock in me!! Who's your daddy?!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email spam blocker, #outgoing messages, #software, #worthless, #sentient being, #only hope, #demoralize to death, #calendar, #engineering

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Dilbert approaches The Boss and says, "Our e-mail spam blocker is stopping all incoming and outgoing messages." Dilbert continues, "Apparently the software decided that everything we do is a bunch of worthless #$!&O." Dilbert continues, "I fear that it's becoming a sentient being. Our only hope is for you to demoralize it to death." The Boss replies, "Tell it to get on my calendar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #being male, #excellence award, #bend metal, #steel spike, #highest paid, #department

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Dilbert: I need to find a way to bend this steel rod into a 'U.' Wally: I'll take care of it. I won the prestigious "steel spike award" For engineering excellence. Alice: what??!! Wally: I guess its validation for being the highest paid in the department....and for being male.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #forward to ted, #email, #solved problems, #project, #being rude, #remove from project

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Dilbert: Ted is being rude and helpful. Can you ask his boss to remove him from the project? The Boss: I'll forward this to Ted. That should help. Dilbert: I wonder how people solved problems before email.