Better System Comic Strips - Page 4
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765 Results for Better System
View 31 - 40 results for better system comic strips. Discover the best "Better System" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 15,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #direction, #stupid, #shall, #dance, #better
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally walk toward each other in the hallway. Dilbert thinks, "Collision course . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I hate this . . . We'll both veer in the same direction, then the other. He'll say something studpid, like 'Shall we dance?'" Dilbert ducks and Wally trips over him. Dilbert thinks, "This method isn't much better."
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Friday March 22,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bad, #mood, #ears, #match, #back, #annoy, #better
Transcript
Dogbert thinks, "I'm in a bad mood. I'll have to annoy Dilbert and see if it makes me feel better." Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert stands behind him and says, "I just noticed that your ears don't match from the back." Dilbert gasps and grabs his ears. Dogbert walks away thinking, "Ahh . . ."
Saturday August 24,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #senator, #appreciate, #close, #vote, #senate, #Political, #committee, #Dogbert, #blind, #faith, #system, #whiskey
Transcript
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own a senator, what are you going to do with him?" Dogbert says, "He'll appreciate in value when a close vote comes up in the Senate. Then I'll sell him to a political action committee." Dilbert says, "This is starting to affect my blind faith in the system." Dogbert says, "He's hungry. Do we have any whiskey?"
Thursday October 31,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #item, #vacation, #increments, #regular, #work, #days, #vacations, #avoid, #assignments, #minutes, #cough, #better, #take, #some, #sick, #time
Transcript
Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."
Friday December 27,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #date, #new, #system, #evaluating, #check, #boxes, #Card, #night, #dinged, #point, #nervous, #twitch, #head, #block, #bucket
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I'm using a new system for evaluating my dates. I just check off boxes on this card throughout the night." The woman continues, "There . . . I just dinged you a point for that nervous twitch." The woman asks, "Would you say your head is more like a block or a bucket?"
Tuesday January 07,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #morale, #building, #experiment, #slap, #fly swatter, #feel, #better
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss stands behind him holding a fly swatter. The Boss says, "Hold still. I'm going to try a morale-building experiment." The Boss slaps Dilbert on the back of his head. The Boss walks away saying, "Thanks. I feel a lot better." Dilbert looks angry.
Tuesday June 02,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #video, #phone, #dating, #unattractive, #prospects, #camera, #system, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk watching the video phone. Dilbert says, "This video phone will be a big help for dating." Dilbert continues, "This way I can weed out the unattractive prospects in seconds." Dogbert asks, "Isn't there a camera on your end too?" Dilbert replies, "No system is perfect."
Thursday September 24,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #received, #death, #threats, #patent, #augmented, #security, #system, #sidewalk, #rigged, #electric, #shock, #disarming, #intruder, #catapult, #landfill, #mail
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've received death threats because of my new patent. So I augmented our home security system." Dilbert continues, "The sidewalk is rigged to give an electric shock, thus disarming the intruder. Then a spring catapults him to the city landfill." Outside, someone screams. Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window and see several envelopes falling onto the sidewalk. Dogbert says, "The mail is here."
Wednesday September 30,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #show, #interview, #book, #author, #unmarried, #Men, #scum, #theory, #jailed, #crime, #beat, #system, #married
Transcript
A television talk show host says into the microphone, "My guest for today's show is Dogbert, author of the one-page book, 'Unmarried Men are Scum.'" The host says to Dogbert, "Your theory is that all unmarried men should be jailed for life, thus ending most crime." Dogbert replies, "Exactly." The host asks, "What if they try to beat the system by getting married?" Dogbert replies, "Serves 'em right."
Saturday February 20,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #notice, #wearing, #contacts, #emergency, #backup, #system
Transcript
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Do you notice anything different?" Dogbert replies, "No." Dilbert says, "I'm wearing contact lenses." Dogbert asks, "Then why are you still wearing glasses?" Dilbert replies, "They're my emergency backup system." Dogbert says, "Your pants are on backwards."