Billion Dollar Idea Comic Strips - Page 4

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431 Results for Billion Dollar Idea

View 31 - 40 results for billion dollar idea comic strips. Discover the best "Billion Dollar Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, executives, ignorance (knowledge), technical details, idea, deciosns, people involved, pale and poorly dressed, business

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Boss: Stop right there. Don't tell me the technical details of your idea. I make my decisions based on what I know about the people involved. Dilbert: You know less about me than you know about my idea. Boss: Is your idea pale and poorly dressed?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, wealth, ceo, good job, 50 million dollar bonus, not motivated, bad genes, inequality, dosaprity, ceo and worker, unfair wages, crazy money, slave wages, more work, no rewards, money

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Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apology, bald, business ethics, company lawyer, discrimination, lawyers, nearsighted, one billion, short, statue

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Lawyer: I've been asked to settle your claim of discrimination against the company. Your complaint is that they discriminate against you for being short, bald, and nearsighted. I might have a conflict of interest, but my final offer is one billion dollars. Wally: Plus a statue and an apology. Company lawyer.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags actions & defenses, billion dollars, business ethics, golden key, rich people, top 1%, flying unicorn

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Boss: Here's a billion dollars to settle your claim of discrimination against short, bald, nearsighted guys. Wally: I'm in the top 1% now. I wonder where we hold our secret meetings. Boss: Ask the tiny flying unicorn with the golden key.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags prosperity, saving & investment, portfolio, standard industry, investing, billion dollars, index funds, money

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Dogbert: I'll manage your portfolio for a standard industry fee of 1% per year. Wally: I'm investing a billion dollars. Your fee would be $10 million per year. Dogbert: Those index funds aren't going to pick themselves.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags discussion, ideas, meeting, originality, irrational thinking, optoistic, new prodcuts, faking optomisim, fake buy in, business

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Dilbert: ... and that's my suggestion for our next product. Alice: How do we know that ten other companies aren't working on the same idea. Dilbert: Well, that's always a possibility. Wally: There are seven billion people on Earth. I'll bet a million of them had this idea. Asok: It's irrational to think that any new product is likely to be a hit. On the other hand, we only get paid if we pretend to be optimistic about new products. Wally: All in favor of faking our optimism, raise your hands. Dilbert: All I could get was a fake buy-in. Boss: That's the only kind there is.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, idea, shredding gloves, bad listener, dumb idea

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Alice: Hold that thought until I put on my idea-shredding gloves. Dilbert: My idea is that...we...um... You're a bad listener. Alice: Tell me more about your dumb idea.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public opinion, feedback, idea, smart people

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Boss: What feedback have other people given you on your idea? Dilbert: Smart people like it. Everyone else asks me what other people think.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, bad idea, email, hate, meeting, recommend changes, bed ideas, business

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Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags women's, power, organization, two, billion, Dilbert

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Dilbert opens his door to two women. One woman says, "Hi, we're with the 'Women's Power Organization.' Do you have a moment?" The woman hits Dilbert in the stomach and his glasses fly off his face. Dilbert lies in the doorway. As they walk away one woman asks, "How many are left?" The other woman replies, "Two billion."