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45 Results for Brilliant

View 31 - 40 results for brilliant comic strips. Discover the best "Brilliant" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #paying for consulting, #no recommendations, #feel secure, #shaping strategies, #hate you, #feel good

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"I keep paying you for consulting, but you never make any recommendations." "I'm what you call a "feel good."" "My job is to make you feel secure in the knowledge that someone brilliant is shaping your strategies." "This is weird; I hate you, but at the same time I feel good." "You're welcome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cannibals, #victims, #staving competition, #cannibalizing

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Dilbert: Our new product is cannibalizing our old product. Either we have a brilliant strategy for staving off competition, or our CEO is the victim of a bully. Bully: Ha ha! Why don't you stop cannibalizing yourself?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #brilliant, #moron, #appearance, #superficial, #beard, #silent, #Funny, #business

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The Boss says, "I invited silent Gary to help us decide on a technology direction." The Boss says, "We think he's a genius because he has a beard and he never speaks." The Boss says, "Gary, do you think we should use open source software for our support platform?" The Boss says, "Here it comes. He's rubbing his beard and giving me creepy eye contact." THe Boss says, "I detect a slight hint of disgust. It means Gary hates the idea! The Boss says, "Yes, it's all so obvious now. This is the worst idea in the history of mankind." The Boss says, "THe meeting is over. Silent Gary has spoken." Dilbert says, "You're actually a moron, aren't you?" Gary says, "Don't ruin this for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #wdg, #worthless dumb guy, #banana, #project, #business

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Dilbert says, "And Russell will act as the WDG for our project." Asok says, "WDG?" Alice says, "Worthless dumb guy. Every project has one." Dilbert says, "In a different context, Russell might seem totally competent." Dilbert says, "But in any small group, the dumbest person always seems extra worthless." Dilbert says, "Everyone else on the project is brilliant. That makes Ruseell seem like a chimp." Alice says, "It's helpful to identify the WDG so we can discourage him from trying to contribute." Asok says, "Does it hurt his feelings?" Russell says, "Me want banana!" Alice says, "It's hard to know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #automated task, #three hours, #resourceful, #lazy, #character flaw, #compaliner, #quitter

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"Can I show you something that I'm proud of?" "I austomated a task that used to take me three hours." "Well, well, well. Isn't that just like you?" "Resourceful?" "Lazy." "Did you ust turn my brilliant accomplishment into a character flaw?" "Complainer." "Let's just forget the whole thing." "Quitter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2003's comic on:


Tags #boss, #engineering manager, #graphic artist, #graphics guy upset, #logo, #mocks him, #puts down idea, #thinks idea, #threatned, #graphics dept.

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The Boss: Its totally Brilliant. Boss: I must show this to our creative department. I designed a new logo for the company, see what you can do with it. Graphics Artist: well, well, well an engineering manager becomes and artist. Apparently I wasted my time getting an masters degree in graphic arts and design. AlI I needed was a dull pencil and scrap of paper. Art is not that easy, you arrogant pile of perfectly symmetrical crud!! The Boss: what if the logo is inside a rectangle? Artist: SOB

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #behind schedule, #obstical, #projects, #sound dumb, #three engineers, #time management skills

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Boss: All of your projects are behind schedule. You need to work on your time management skills. Dilbert:Let me see if I understand you correctly. You expect me to do the job of three engineers... ...and the only obstical to your brilliant plan os my poor time management? Boss: Stop making everything I say sound dumb. Dilbert: I dont do it that often. Because you only sound dumb when people understand what you mean. Boss: And thats too Often! Dilbert: Once a week tops.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ceos, #executives, #leadership, #threat, #internet, #ruin journalist, #off the record, #reporters, #bar conversation, #negative article, #criminally insane, #brillaunet writer, #venn diagram, #technology

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Dilbert: There's a bad story about you on the Internet. Apparently, you described a plan to "ruin any journalist who writes an unfair story" about us. CEO: That was off the record! Dilbert: You said it in front of a dozen reporters at a business event. CEO: It was just bar conversation. I was making a point about fairness. Dilbert: Hmmm... but now no sane writer would write a negative article about us. I can't tell if you're a brilliant leader or criminally insane. CEO: I'd show you the Venn diagram they gave us in CEO school, but it just looks like a circle.

Coworkers Hate Wally For Some Reason

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Coworkers Hate Wally For Some Reason - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses, #ego, #conceited, #productivity

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Wally: My co-workers don't take me seriously because I'm so good looking. And I think they hate me for my brilliant mind. All I know is that they hate me. So if I seem unproductive, it's because of my beauty and brilliance.

Boss Thought Of It First

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Boss Thought Of It First - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #credit, #ideas, #thinking

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Alice: And that's my idea. I think it's brilliant. Boss: I thought of that idea right before you said it. Alice: What are the odds of that? Boss: It happens to me all the time.