Bug Comic Strips - Page 4
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50 Results for Bug
View 31 - 40 results for bug comic strips. Discover the best "Bug" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 09,
1994
Tags #ask dilbert, #attractive, #bad hair, #engineers can't lie, #hairdo, #insults woman, #make ship date, #technical questions, #truth, #bugs are features
Transcript
"I brought Dilbert, in case you have any technical questions about our product." "Heh-heh...engineers don't know how to lie. The truth will be mine." "Uh-oh." "Ted said your product is bug-free. Is that true Dilbert?" "Well, yes, that's true." "I mean, basically true. Technicaly true. Sort of." "No-o-o!! It's a lie! All the bugs were reclassified as security features just to make the ship date!!" "And we both think you could be attractive if you'd just do SOMETHING with your hair." "Why did I bring you along?" "The evidence suggests that you're stupid."
Wednesday September 08,
1999
Tags #strategic plan, #irrational, #cognitive dissonance, #bad with numbers
Transcript
Dilbert and the boss sit at a table with a piece of paper. The boss says, "If your numbers are correct, my strategic plan is irrational." The boss eyes bug out and his head goes "spoink" Caption: "Cognitive dissonance takes over." the boss says, "You sure are bad with numbers." Dilbert says, "What was that noise?"
Wednesday July 11,
2001
Tags #mother could use, #moron, #mother fed boss, #Dilbert, #desk, #computer, #together, #bug in computer, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer as the Boss sits behind him saying, "It needs to be so easy that your mother could use it." Dilbert replies, "My mother isn't a moron. Maybe we could use your mother as the test." The Boss asks, "What makes you think my mother is a moron?" Dilbert says, "She fed you."
Saturday July 14,
2001
Tags #layoff planning, #fire people, #creeps, #excessive nose haor, #called doctor, #five minute meeting
Transcript
Caption reads: "Layoff Planning." Catbert sits with the Boss at a table. The Boss says, "Let's fire all the people who give us the creeps..." "...All the people with excessive nose hair and anyone who insists on being called 'doctor.'" Carol enters into the cubicle of a man with long nose hair and bug eyes. She says, "You've got a five-minute meeting on Friday, Dr. Wolfington."
Wednesday August 01,
2001
Tags #secretary, #carol, #order new chair, #new chair smell, #chair desert roll, #not important enough, #smelly chair, #mean nasty, #self centered, #delusional boss
Transcript
The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, order a new chair for me. The old one lost its new chair smell." Carol responds, "Can I have your old chair? My chair doesn't roll anymore." The Boss replies tentatively, "'I'll try to say this tactfully. You're not important enough to sit in my smelly chair." Carol's eyes bug in offense.
Tuesday October 30,
2001
Tags #circuit design, #mention, #didnt, #psychic, #conversation
Transcript
Dilbert is eating lunch with a female coworker. The coworker says, "Then I noticed that the circuit design looked like a bug. I was going to mention it but then I didn't." Dilbert exclaims, "I'm psychic!" Dilbert continues, "Unless you're saying out loud every thought that crosses your mind." The coworker gives the thumbs up and says, "It's called conversation."
Thursday November 22,
2001
Tags #elbonia, #business plan, #expanded offering, #pet grooming, #lingerie, #as agency, #bug in bikini
Transcript
Headline: In Elbonia. Two Elbonians point to a diagram. One says to Dilbert, "Our business plan was to sell mud to people who live in mud." The Elbonian continues, "Later we shrewdly expanded our offerings to include pet grooming and lingerie." The diagram is now a picture of lingerie. The Elbonian continues, "Frankly, I blame our ad agency for what happened next." He holds up a picture of a pig in lingerie.
Saturday September 21,
2002
Tags #dental floss, #newly hored, #peeved eve, #peeved expression, #public flossing!, #piss off, #annoyed, #peeve, #hate, #get to hate, #bug, #provoke, #tease, #prop, #objectify
Transcript
Wally is sitting at his computer. Dilbert approaches and says, "Grab your dental floss and follow me. I'll explain on the way." Wally replies, "Okay." As they're walking, Dilbert says to Wally, "The newly hired mutant is named 'Peeved Eve.' Wait until you see her peeved facial expression." Wally replies, "Hee hee!" Wally flosses in Peeved Eve's face. Peeved Eve makes her peeved face and exclaims, "Gaaa! Public flossing!"
Tuesday December 21,
2004
Tags #stupid, #customers, #pressure builds, #unbearable, #bug head
Transcript
Try to get through this meeting without teling our customers how stupid you think they're being. "I'll try." "But sometimes the pressure builds up in my head and it's unbearable." "Tough it out." "Is he okay? "He's fine. Ignore him."
Tuesday June 10,
2008
Tags #billions in bad loans, #bug pay cut, #regulatory oversight
Transcript
CEO: We've decided to write off 47 billion dollars in bad loans. You might think this is my fault, but in actuality it is all caused by poor regulatory oversight. Who is in favor of those guys taking a big pay cut? Anyone?"