Bugs Program Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

154 Results for Bugs Program

View 31 - 40 results for bugs program comic strips. Discover the best "Bugs Program" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finish program, #fast, #train him, #prodcutive, #big glowing thing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and turns around as the Boss enters. The Boss says, "We need to finish your program twice as fast, so I'm adding a person to help you." The Boss says as he leaves Dilbert's cubicle, "You might need to train him a little before he's productive." Dilbert waves his arms as he thinks, "Warning! Warning! Dr. Smith." Dilbert sits at his desk with the new co-worker, a small man with big ears and a disheveled shirt collar. Pointing at the monitor, he asks Dilbert, "Tell me again what the big glowing thing is."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pundits, #press, #keyboard with no q, #public relations, #fiasco, #engineering solution, #graphics program, #semi colon

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk, reading a newspaper. Dilbert says, "The pundits in the press are nailing us for shipping a keyboard with no 'Q.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a public-relations fiasco. Obviously, we need an engineering solution. I'm on the case." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Users could use a graphics program to draw a 'Q' in the unlikely event that they need one." Wally says, "Or we could replace the semi-colon; nobody uses them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering, #uses program, #marketing, #prodcut, #urrelevant, #engineers, #same as marketeers, #sitting in cave, #rocks are edicble, #recipes, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Stan in marketing works at his computer while Dilbert looks over his shoulder. Dilbert says, "Everybody in engineering uses this program I wrote. I think marketing should turn it into a product." Stan replies, "I wouldn't buy this." Dilbert tells Stan, "That's irrelevant because the target market would be engineers." Stan says, "Engineers think the same as marketeers." Dilbert replies, "If that were true we'd be sitting in a cave trying to decide if rocks are edible." Stan points to the computer and says, "You know, you could keep recipes on this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #how to program, #build gui, #object oriented, #pronounced gooey, #gun object, #blast bug, #hall object

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at a computer and Wally and Dilbert stand behind him. The Boss raises his hands over the keyboard and says, "Okay, just show me how to program so I can help out on your project." Dilbert says, "You're going to build a 'G.U.I.' using object-oriented development tools . . ." Wally adds, "G.U.I. is pronounced 'gooey.'" The Boss says, "I used my gun object to blast the bug object in the hall object!!" Wally says, "Notice how gooey it is."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bug fixed, #code, #ratbert, #rat dance, #bugs to fix, #web browser, #authored browser

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer and says to Ratbert, "The company pays me ten dollars for every bug I fix in my code, Ratbert." Dilbert pushes his keyboard toward Ratbert and says, "I want you to do your little rat dance on my keyboard so I'll have lots of bugs to fix." Ratbert asks as he dances on the keyboard, "How am I doing?" Dilbert looks at the screen and says, "Not so good. You just authored a web browser."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality assurance, #beta prodcut, #few bugs, #lethal boneheaded, #vesing, #lethal, #vexing, #bonehead, #rent, #stadium

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits at his desk. Ratbert enters holding a printout and says, "My quality assurance review of your beta product turned up a few bugs, Wally." Ratbert continues, "I've classified the bugs by severity: 1) lethal, 2) boneheaded, 3) vexing." Wally looks at the printout and asks, "All I see are lethal and vexing. Where's boneheaded?" Ratbert replies, "I'm trying to rent a stadium to hold the printout."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #recognition program, #assign names, #levels performance, #highest level, #precious gem, #sparkle

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new 'recognition program' assigns the names of precious gems to your levels of performance." The Boss continues, "The highest level is diamond. You get a new ring at each level." The Boss hands out ring boxes. Wally asks, "Are you sure talc is a precious gem?" Dilbert moves his hand and says, "I think I saw it sparkle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #network adminsitrator, #routers, #block employees, #websites, #program routers, #useless activities, #business plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a desk. The Boss asks, "Can you program the routers to block employees from all fun Web sites?" Dogbert replies, "Why stop there? I can program the routers to block ALL useless activities." The Boss asks, "How long will that take?" Dogbert unplugs a cable and says, "Done. I've seen your business plan."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marilyn vos savant, #smartest human alive, #often flier program, #phone comapny, #who saves most?, #brain scarred

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with stacks of brochures in front of him. Dogbert stands on the table and says, "This is Marilyn Vos Savant, the smartest human alive." A woman stands behind Dogbert. Dogbert says, "She will help you understand your airline 'Often Flier' program." Marilyn looks at a brochure and says, "I'm stumped." Dilbert asks, "After this, could you tell me which phone company saves me the most money?" Marilyn replies, "My brain's trying to escape; you scared it." Her brain crawls out her ear.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #industrial espionage program, #secret reports, #plan, #fire dumb people, #perfect cover

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Alice are talking in the hall over a cup of coffee. Bob walks up holding a box of his office supplies and says, "I've been chosen for the industrial espionage program." Bob gets an evil look on his face and says, "The plan is that I quit this job and go work for our competitor. Every week I'll send back secret reports." Alice says, "Bob, this is how we fire dumb people." Bob turns to go and says, "That's why it's the perfect cover."