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Dilbert walks into a store with a sale sign. He thinks, "I hate shopping." Dilbert continues thinking, "There's never a salesperson when you want to buy something." Dilbert continues thinking, "But when you're just looking . . ." Several salespeople cling to his back, arms and legs.
A police officer stands in Dilbert's door and says, "I have a report that you stayed up late playing with your computer . . ." The officer continues, "Instead of going to sleep like you're supposed to." Dilbert responds, "I wasn't tired." Dilbert stands with his arms and legs spread. The officer frisks Dilbert and says, "He was resisting a rest."
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dilbert says, "My program predicts that the cost of college will rise twenty percent a year . . ." Dilbert continues, "Now, throw in the cost of orthodontia and haircuts . . ." Dilbert reads a printout and says to Dogbert, "I can either have a child or buy Norway . . ."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "This is my new optical disk player for the computer." Dilbert plugs the disk player into his computer and continues, "Now I can instantly access the works of Shakespeare or study the history of Greece!" Dogbert asks, "How often do you need to do that?" Dilbert asks, "You just don't understand technology, do you?" Dogbert answers, "I'm just a dog."
Dilbert says to Wally, "I just read that in a few years you will be able to access all of the news and information of the world from your personal computer." Dilbert continues, "You probably saw the same article in today's paper." Wally replies, "I don't read a paper." Dilbert thinks as he walks away, "What's wrong with this picture?"
The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've addressed your concern about the potential safety hazard of computer terminal radiation." An air bag explodes out of a computer monitor and knocks Dilbert off his feet. Dilbert lies in a hole in the wall. A scientist with a clipboard says, "Air bags -- their time has come."
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss dangles a check from his fingers and says, "It's pay day." The Boss yells, "Ha ha!! Dance for your paycheck!! Ha ha ha!! Mine is twice as big!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "And they say money can't buy happiness."
The Boss says to Dilbert and another employee, "We're making a company commercial. Memorize these lines." Dilbert reads, "I'm Wally! I was specially bred to serve you and take abuse, O magnificent customer." Dilbert says, "It sounds a little unnatural." The woman reads, "I'm Raquel. I'll be your love puppet if you buy from us."
Dilbert sits at his desk looking at his computer. Dilbert says, "I have become one with my computer." Dilbert continues, "It is a feeling of ecstasy . . . The perfect blend of logic and emotion." Dilbert says, "I have reached . . ." Dogbert says, "Nerdvana."
Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "Would the world be any worse off if I'd never been born?" Dilbert thinks, "Wait . . . If not for me, who would turn off this computer every night. I'm saving electricity!" Dilbert arrives at home carrying his briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I found meaning in my life today." Dogbert says, "You left your bedroom light on all day."