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View 31 - 40 results for buy island nation comic strips. Discover the best "Buy Island Nation" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #raises, #young employees, #few dollars, #buy small motorcyel, #crack cocaine, #be your mentor, #tickle my own fett, #perfect sat

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The boss sits across from Asok. The boss says, "Asok, I can't give raises to young employees." The boss says, "Because as soon as you get a few dollars in your pocket..." The boss says, "You buy small motorcycles a disappear in the night." The boss says, "I know that's a generalization." The boss says, "Some of you prefer the crack cocaine." Asok is mad. The boss says, "The good new is that I'm willing to be your mentor." Asok gets up and screams. Asok says, "Aaagh! I got double eight hundreds on my SAT!!! For what?!!" The boss walks Asok out. The boss says, "Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood I tickle my own feet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #whos incredible list, #can buy book, #leather bound, #gullible

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Looking at a piece of paper, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Wow! I've been selected for the 'Who's Incredible' list!" Dilbert continues to Dogbert, "For seventy-five dollars I can buy a leather-bound book with my name in it!" Dilbert says, "Ha! And people said I was too gullible to be a success!" Dogbert reads the piece of paper, "Dear Occupant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rave review, #buy review, #new movie, #afford, #full price range, #new years day, #best comedy so far, #this year

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A Hollywood type says into the telephone, "Hello.. Yes, I'd like to buy a rave review for my new movie." Dogbert, on the other end of the line, replies, "Can you afford the 'suspenseful thrill ride' or would you like something more in the 'delightful' price range." The man responds, "I'm releasing it on New Year's Day, Can you give me a price for 'Best Comedy So Far This Year?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #moral money, #doing hood, #buy prodcuts, #logo, #coffee mug, #ten million dollars, #morale dollars

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "Introducing 'Morale Money.' Now you can earn money for doing good work." The Boss continues, "You can use it at the company store to buy products that have our logo." Dilbert is at the company store's cash register holding a mug. The employee says, "The coffee mug costs ten million morale dollars."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock market expert, #buy stocks, #fundamentals, #go on tv

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Dogbert is standing on his desk. Dogbert says, "I'd be a good stock market expert." Dogbert continues, "I'd buy stocks and then go on TV and recommend them so they go up." Dilbert asks, "What about the fundamentals?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't get more fundamental than that!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock market expert, #buy stock, #sell house, #track record, #one week chart, #buy buy

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Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert says in front of the camera, "...Everyone should buy stock in that company. Sell your house if necessary." A man replies into the camera, "Should we worry that the P/E is 900, your track record is terrible and you only recommend stocks you own?" The Boss is sitting in his office watching TV. Dogbert's voice is heard through the TV, "Well, Ron, as you can see from the one-week chart, this stock only goes up." The Boss says into the phone, "Buy! Buy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dilbert sales guy, #Card, #no correct info, #new ones, #costs money, #clout, #company, #buy something, #business

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Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert hands a customer his card and says, "Here's my card. None of this information is correct." The customer asks, "Why don't you get new ones?" Dilbert responds, "That costs money." The customer adds, "You must have a lot of clout in your company." Dilbert responds, "Shut up and buy something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customers into sheep, #device, #buy whatever, #free wool, #marketing dept

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Dilbert is meeting with a coworker. The coworker says, "The marketing department wants you to build a device that turns customers into sheep." Dilbert asks, "Why? So they'll buy whatever we tell them to buy?" The coworker responds, "To be honest, we haven't given it much thought beyond free wool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonians, #buy influence, #vote, #Politics

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Headline: P.R. for Elbonia. Dogbert is meeting with two Elbonians. Dogbert says, "You need to buy influence in Washington." Dogbert continues, "It sounds expensive, but it's a lot more affordable than you'd think." An Elbonian stands outside of a building in Washington D.C. He stops a politician and asks, "Gum?" The politician responds, "You got my vote!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #audio lessons, #hundred million, #showing up, #performing ceo, #be the person, #buy audio lessons

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Dogbert: Would you like to make a hundred million dollars for just showing up at work? Dogbert: My audio lessons teach you how to become an underperforming CEO. $19.95 Step One: become A CEO> Step Two: Be the sort who would buy these audio lessons.