Calculated Risk Comic Strips - Page 4

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85 Results for Calculated Risk

View 31 - 40 results for calculated risk comic strips. Discover the best "Calculated Risk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Biggest Risk To Happiness

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Biggest Risk To Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #Advice, #complaining, #conversation, #psychology

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Wally: The biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people. When they aren't trying to make you work, they're complaining. Asok: I hate that. Wally: Shhh. Don't talk.

Homeland Security Risk

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 Homeland Security Risk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #homeland security, #awareness, #consciousness, #terrorism

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Agent: Homeland Security has identified you as a risk of being radicalized online. Dilbert: Is it because I'm a single male, I hate my job, and no one loves me? Agent: We didn't know about that stuff. Now I have to call in a drone strike.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #lawyers & attorneys, #legal advice, #chain reaction, #future visionary leader not being born, #maintenance agreement, #stabbing gandhi

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Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I need your legal advice." Lawyer says, "There's a risk that this could cause a chain reaction that results in a future visionary leader not being born." Dilbert says, "It's just a maintenance agreement." Lawyer says, "It's like stabbing Gandhi."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #work ethic, #worry, #indispensible, #fired, #useless, #riskier, #toe clip, #20 years of service

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Asok: Wally, should I try to become indispensable so I won't be fired? Wally: No. Indispensable people end up working too hard because they can't risk showing anyone else how to do what they do. Asok: Being useless seems riskier. Wally: Have you seen the tie clip I got for 20 years of service?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #need input, #worked backward, #due date

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Man: I worked backward from the project due date and calculated that we'll need your input on this date. Dilbert: You have me finishing two weeks before I start. Man: Let's schedule a time to talk about that. Dilbert: Sure. How about two weeks ago?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #senator, #axxe, #embracing, #elected, #opera, #boycott, #chair, #Dogbert

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Senator Newt Axxes' Office. Senator Axxe: Mister Dogbert makes a strong argument for banning opera. Man: The polls show that almost nobody cares about this issue... There's virtually no political risk in embracing it! Senator Axxe: Until they scrape your festering corpse out of that chair!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #entrepreneur, #Wally, #Adventure, #challenge, #stops, #paying, #quit

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Dilbert and Wally stand in the hallway holding coffee cups. Wally says, "I'm thinking of quitting and becoming an entrepreneur." Wally continues, "I want to experience life on the edge, full of risk and challenge and adventure!" Dilbert says, "The company stops paying you if you quit." Wally responds, "Oh, then never mind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #strange, #dream, #nosebleed, #supressing, #memories, #abducted, #aliens, #hypnosis, #scorned

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert holds a pen and a pad of paper. Dogbert asks, "Have you ever had a strange dream or a nosebleed?" Dilbert replies, "Yes." Dogbert says, "It's clear that you're suppressing memories of being abducted by aliens. I can use hypnosis to get at those memories." Dilbert asks, "What if the hypnosis itself makes me think it happened when it didn't? I'll be scorned and ridiculed for life." Dogbert replies, "That's a risk I'm willing to take."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #cut budget, #spinning, #flung, #space, #locusts, #fling locusts

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Tina: "According to you, if I cut your budget the world will abruptly stop spinning and we'll be flung into space." Tina: "Whereas, the risk of cutting Dilbert's project is '...a plage of locusts o'er the land.'" "I'll cut both projects. With any luck, we'll fling the locusts into space." Wally: "Locusts. Real good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #rat, #mouse, #politically incorrect, #named in rats honor, #scuzzy, #suggestion

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Ratbert: "Why is that thing called a mouse and not a rat?" Ratbert: "At the risk of being labelled, quote, politically correct, unquote, I must object." "I demand to have something named in my honor! Dilbert: "What about the 'scuzzy' interface? Hee hee."