Calling In Strategy Comic Strips - Page 4

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222 Results for Calling In Strategy

View 31 - 40 results for calling in strategy comic strips. Discover the best "Calling In Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #self service consulting, #crate of anvils, #centralized, #decentralized, #strategy

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Dogbert says to the staff during a session of self-service consulting, "I was hired because you're all dumber than a crate of anvils." Dogbert continues, "Now, can anyone tell me if your operations are centralized or decentralized?" Asok waves his hand excitedly, "Ooh! Ooh! I just thought of a strategy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #calling in sick, #honesty, #monday, #puked, #puked up organs, #questioned, #suspicious, #vomit, #glah!, #optional guts

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An under-the-weather Alice sits angrily as The Boss says, "I'm a bit suspicious about you calling in sick yesterday on a Monday, Alice." The Boss looks startled as Alice exclaims, "Glah!" and her internal organs fly out of her mouth. Alice says to Dilbert, "Luckily I had lots of optional guts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dogcart consults, #create a strategy, #increase market share, #change, #valuable advice

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Headline: Dogbert Consults. Dogbert says to The Boss, "It's easy to create a strategy." Dogbert continues, "Write down everything you do, preceded by the phrase, 'increase our market share by...'" The Boss asks, "What if we change what we do?" Dogbert responds, "Call me and I'll sell you some more valuable advice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #find calling, #life and waste, #metal detector, #no to bottle cap, #priceless treasure

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Wally is walking down the hallway with a metal detector. Alice asks him, "Wally, what do you expect to find here with a metal detector?" Wally responds, "My first choice is some sort of priceless treasure. But I wouldn't say no to a bottle cap." Alice leaves and Wally thinks to himself, "I finally find my calling in life and I waste all day explaining it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #budget, #spend it, #can't tell budget, #whats company strategy

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A senior manager says to The Boss, "I can't tell you how much your budget is, because if I did, you'd try to spend all of it." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me when I'm over budget?" The senior manager replies, "No, because then you'd know what the budget is." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me what our company strategy is?" The senior manger replies, "Sure. It's... Ha ha ha! Just kidding."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2002's comic on:


Tags #strategy council, #form a comittee, #produce document, #team, #create council, #ignores document, #business

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During a meeting, The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, put together a team to decide who'll be on the strategy council." Dilbert responds, "You want me to form a committee to create a committee that will produce a document that will be ignored?" The Boss answers, "No, it's a team to create a council." Wally raises his hand and asks, "Can I be on the team that ignores the document?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2002's comic on:


Tags #clear strategy, #most profit, #do more, #less clear, #illegal

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We need a clear strategy. Does anyone have a suggestion?" Dilbert says, "Let's figure out what makes us the most profit, and then do more of it." The Boss responds, "It needs to be less clear than that." Wally asks, "Can it be illegal?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2003's comic on:


Tags #just in time, #inventory, #strategy, #deepest sympathy, #sharp stabbing pain, #promises

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Dilbert is meeting with a client. The client says, "My company is moving to a 'Just in Time' inventory strategy. You'll deliver when we need it." Dilbert responds, "So.. your success depends on my company doing what it promises? You have my deepest sympathy." The client points to his own chest and says, "I feel a sharp, stabbing pain in my chest." Dilbert replies, "And so it begins."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2004's comic on:


Tags #deadly product, #sued, #did nothing, #public realtions, #goal, #jury pool, #victims deserved it, #moral implications, #strategy

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"Dogbert does PR." "You knew your product was deadly but you did nothing until you were sued." "The goal of public relations is to taint the jury pool, we'll show that the victims had it coming." "Maybe we should discuss the moral implications of that strategy." "Bah!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #new strategy, #sales stink, #cutting costs, #lose hope, #working great, #higher margins

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The Boss: "Our new strategy is to sell fewer units at higher margins." Dilbert: "Question: How's that different from saying our sales stink, so we're cutting costs?" The Boss: "I call it a strategy so you won't lose hope." Dilbert: "It's working great."