Cancel Designs Comic Strips - Page 4

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45 Results for Cancel Designs

View 31 - 40 results for cancel designs comic strips. Discover the best "Cancel Designs" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #planned merger, #fast food chain, #employees, #source of protein, #perfect situation, #business

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Dilbert says, "I recommend we cancel our planned merger." Dilbert says, "They plan to open a chain of fast food restaurants using our employees as a source of protein." The Boss says, "If we always waited for the perfect situation, we'd never get anything done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2010's comic on:


Tags #walk, #outside, #project, #budget, #executive cancel, #wag tail, #evil, #cure, #incompetence, #back shot, #stand on stump

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Dilbert says, "We realized our project can't work even if we execute it perfectly." Dilbert says, "Our boss' plan is to go over budget, attract attention, and hope an executive cancels our project for his own political reasons." Dogbert says, "Now do you agree that evil is the cure for incompetence?" Dilbert says, "Don't make me say it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #downsizing, #layoffs, #firing, #cheering, #celebrating, #happy

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The boss says, "I had to lay off many of your coworkers today, but your jobs are safe." Dilbert says, "Yes!" Wally says, "Wahoo!" Alice says, "ha ha ha!" Asok says, "Ha Ha Ha!" The boss says, "Cancel the workshop on survivor guilt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #talking, #plans, #greed, #pirates

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm thinking of becoming a Somalian pirate." Dogbert says, "I'd still get to steal from stockholders, but my booty wouldn't be taxed." Dogbert says, "And who doesn't like grenade launchers? Ka-pow!" Dilbert says, "Mom? Cancel your cruise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #work, #admitting, #angry, #steaming, #lazy, #business

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Wally says, "I did no work this week because I judged the user's specifications to be inadequate." Wally says, "Should I continue to do nothing or do you prefer I use incomplete specs to produce useless designs?" Wally says, "The next thing you hear is something called leadership."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #job, #orders, #leadership, #idiocy, #guessing, #confusion, #business

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The boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to take over Carl's function." The boss says, "He's already gone, but Ted can train you." The boss says, "Ted was sometimes in the general vicinity when Carl did the function." a cloud says, "Doom" Ted says, "Try clicking the red...no, blue...no, red button." Beep ted says, "Ooh, okay. I didn't expect that." ted says, "Now you either have to erase all of the servers or activate the fire suppression system in the clean room." Dilbert says, "What if I click 'Cancel'?" Ted says, "That's what killed Carl." Ted says, "Anyway, that's all I know. The rest is just common sense."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #marketing department, #robust, #products, #confused, #clueless, #useful, #argue, #stupid, #etiquette & ethics, #waste time, #business

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Dilbert says, "The marketing department has asked us to make our products more robust." Dilbert says, "None of us knows what that means." Dilbert says, "So we can either cancel this meeting and go ask them?" Dilbert says, "Or we can pretend that arguing with each other about the true meaning of 'robust' is just as good." Dilbert says, "While that option is stupid, it would give us the illusion of doing something useful right now." Asok says, "Would it be ethical to ignore the long-term interests of stockholders just ot feel good about ourselves for a few minutes?" Dilbert says, "I think robust means it has lots of features." Wally says, "It means sturdy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2007's comic on:


Tags #manage, #spreadsheets, #emails, #luck, #unimportant subordinates, #bad mood, #insulting, #low morale

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The boss: "Cancel all of my meetings. I'm going to manage by making spreadsheets and sending e-mails." "With any luck, I'll never again need to speak with unimportant subordinates such as yourself." "C23 is in a bad mood today." "@#$%^!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #project caribou, #new chip, #prorc, #muskrat project, #project meerkat, #names of projects, #too similar

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"We need more staff for prject Cribou.' "No. You're thinking of project Caribbean." "Caribou is like project muskrat but with lower P.R.O.R.C." "P.R.O.R.C?" "Projected return on research capital." "Is muskrat the enterprise software project?" "Um... No... That would be project muskrat." "Cancel project musk ox, move the staff over to project zebra, delay panda and sdquirrel and give me a status report on probosics monkey." "We don't have any projects with those names." "How's that my fault?"

Dilbert Designs Flying Car

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Dilbert Designs Flying Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #business decisions, #good ideas, #ideas, #innovation, #inventions, #managers, #rejection, #flying car, #harvest ion, #ion powered cars, #selfie camera, #sterring wheel

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Dilbert: I designed a flying car that harvests ions from the air to power itself. We can build them for only $3,000 apiece. CEO: There's no market for ion-powered flying cars. Dilbert: I can put a selfie camera in the steering wheel. CEO: Much better. And let' say the car does not fly.