Car Pool Comic Strips - Page 4

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159 Results for Car Pool

View 31 - 40 results for car pool comic strips. Discover the best "Car Pool" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #found software, #performance evaluations, #same company, #fortune cookies, #buy new car, #use pc

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The Boss approaches Wally and Dilbert. The Boss says, "I found software that helps managers write performance evaluations!" Dilbert and Wally both say, "Uh-oh." The Boss continues, "It's made by the same company that makes fortune cookies for Canada!" Wally says, "That makes me feel better." The caption says, "Next Day." The Boss offers Wally and Dilbert small strips of paper. Dilbert says, "I didn't think you knew how to use a PC." The Boss replies, "My secretary wrote these." Wally reads a strip aloud, "Don't by a new car."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 1995's comic on:


Tags #focus core bsuiness, #core business change, #misdirected failure, #car gets flat, #rotate tires, #drive home

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Wally says to the Boss, "I don't understand how the new reorganization will help us 'focus on our core business.'" Wally continues, "Did our core business change? Or are you saying that EVERY reorg prior to this was a misdirected failure?" The Boss asks hypothetically, "Wally, when a car gets a flat tire, what do you do?" Wally answers, "Well, if I'm you, I rotate the tires and drive home."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #security system, #pool, #catapult, #invention, #fate

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Dilbert taps on the doorstep with a spade. He tells Dogbert, "My new security system is now installed." Dogbert asks, "How's it work?" Dilbert explains, "I buried a giant spring under the welcome mat to catapult any undesirables into the Wilsey's pool three blocks from here." Dilbert continues, "You just tap that little button on the floor there . . ." The caption says, "Time stands still as Dogbert ponders the gift that fate has given him." Dogbert stares at the launch button while Dilbert stands on the welcome mat. Dogbert reaches for the button and says, "I'm pretty sure the look on his face will be worth whatever minor guilt I feel over this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #hospital, #directions, #drive, #driving, #car, #automobile, #lying, #sarcasm

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Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?" Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree." The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left." The says, "Thanks!" as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ." Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #car, #oaf, #court, #circus contortionist, #accident

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Dilbert's car taps the car behind it. Dilbert says, "Oh, carp . . . I'd better see if I dented it." Dilbert leans into the car and tells the driver, "Your bumper doesn't appear to be . . . Uh-oh." The driver's legs and arms are contorted. He shouts at Dilbert, "Look what you've done to me, you oaf!!" The man hops out of the car and shouts, "I'll see you in court!!" The driver sits in the witness stand and tells the judge, ". . . And now I'll never be able to work again." The lawyer asks, "What kind of work did you do?" The man replies, "Well, uh . . . Er . . . Um . . ." The man answers, "Circus contortionist." The man adds, "As far as the settlement goes, I can be flexible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bird, #alive, #car, #resist, #old, #smoe, #blob, #little, #brain

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Dilbert drives his car. He says, "Uh-oh, what's that lying in the road up there?" Dilbert says, "It looks like a squished animal, or maybe a bird." Dogbert sits in the passenger's seat. Dilbert continues, "I think it moved . . . Maybe it's still alive." Dogbert turns his head and says, "I don't want to look . . . It could be disgusting." Dilbert turns his head back and says, ". . . Can't resist. I have to look anyway." Dilbert screams and says, "It's disgusting!!" Dilbert says, "Oh, wait . . . It's just an old shoe." Dilbert cries, "What's that little blob up ahead?!" Dogbert replies, "I think it's your brain."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #man, #used car, #salesman, #car, #came, #negotiation

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Dogbert says to a customer, "I can let you have this one for five thousand." The man says, "Three thousand." Dogbert replies, "No, but I could sell THAT car for four thousand." The man says, "Thirty-five hundred." Dogbert replies, "Sold." The man says as he drives away in the car, "I guess you don't get a lot of negotiators like me." Dogbert says, "It's the first time anybody bought the car they came here in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #anti rust, #bald, #big field, #butterfly turned opera singer, #car dealer, #data compression, #dream analysts, #extended warranty, #new algorythm, #running against wind, #sealant, #serious money

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Someone reaches for a door labeled "Dogbert's Dream Analysis." Dogbert and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "I was in a big field full of tofu and carburetors." Dogbert says, "It means you're a gullible moron. That's $25 please." A woman tells Dogbert, "Then I was running, running, running against the wind." Dogbert replies, "That means you're ugly." Wally tells Dogbert, "Then the butterfly turned into an opera singer." Dogbert says, "That means you're bald." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Suddenly I saw a new algorythm for data compression." Dogbert replies, "It means you're boring." The Boss tells Dogbert, "Then I told the car dealer I wanted the anti-rust sealant, the extended warranty and the lease option." The Boss asks, "What do you think it means?" Dogbert replies, "It means I'm going to make some serious money today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1996's comic on:


Tags #layoffs, #mobility pool, #run around, #finding job, #internal job, #ax falls, #layoffs dignified, #nonexistent job

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The Boss and Wally sit at a table. The Boss says, "We don't do 'layoffs' at this company. But you HAVE been selected to participate in our mobility pool!" The Boss explains, "As the name implies, you get to scurry around trying to find a nonexistent internal job before the ax falls." Wally asks, "How's this different from a layoff?" The Boss replies, "With layoffs you get to keep your dignity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #biggest prospect, #brain overload, #kenny sales weasel, #tech specs, #uses electricity, #car

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, you'll work with 'Kenny the sales-weasel' on our biggest prospect." Dilbert and Kenny get into a car. Kenny says, "Tell me all of our product's technical specs on the way. I like to be prepared." They ride in the car. Dilbert says, "Our product is beige. It uses electricity." Kenny says, "Whoa! Brain overload!"