Carry Yourself Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

220 Results for Carry Yourself

View 31 - 40 results for carry yourself comic strips. Discover the best "Carry Yourself" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teamwork football, #carry one day, #commitment to teamwork, #customers, #vacation, #used golf ball, #football, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss holds up a football and says, "I call it teamwork football." The Boss continues, "Each of you will carry the ball with you for one day to symbolize your commitment to teamwork." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice listen as The Boss' voice continues, "Who wants to be first?" The Boss turns to Dilbert. Dilbert says, "Not me, I have a meeting with customers today." The Boss turns to Wally. Wally says, "I'm on vacation. I only came in for coffee." The Boss turns to Alice. Alice says, "Not in a trillion years." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Maybe you could keep it in your desk drawer to symbolize our commitment to teamwork." The Boss is sitting at his desk. He looks at the football sticking out of his desk drawer and thinks, "I should have used a golf ball."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #electronic mail, #thinking, #lack of creativity, #choke yourself, #creating ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I traced all of our problems back to your lack of creativity. You should be creating ideas that change the course of civilization, but instead, you sit there like a lump. Dilbert: I'm sending you a link that describes fun ways to choke yourself.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best advice, #insignificant advice, #worst advice, #be true to yourself, #doesn't mean anything

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The best advice anyone ever gave me was "be true to yourself." Dilbert: That literally doesn't mean anything. Wally: I usually don't like to get involved, but you make me curious what the worst advice was.

Trust Yourself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trust Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #inspiration, #logic, #obliviousness, #Advice, #executives, #motivational speaking

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The key to success is trusting yourself. Alice: Even when you're wrong? CEO: I'm starting to think motivation isn't a thing.

Remove Yourself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Remove Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #irony, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As the designated agile scrum, it is my job to remove distractions so you can work. Alice: Great. Remove yourself from my cubicle and you've done your job. Dilbert: That seems too easy. Alice: And yet you can't do it.

Pat Yourself On The Head

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pat Yourself On The Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reward, #prizes, #reimbursement, #expense report

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm naming you employee of the month. Your prize is twenty dollars cash and a pat on the head. Give yourself twenty dollars and submit an employee reimbursement request. Dilbert: Can I pat myself on the head, too? Boss: I was hoping you would offer.

Loving Yourself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loving Yourself  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #philosophy, #self love, #evil, #ignorant, #selfish, #lazy, #love

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. carol: do philosophers really say that? boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself. carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage. boss: that sounds a lot harder. carol: in other words, you are lazy. boss: i love that about me!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quarreling, #suspicion, #work ethic, #work independantly, #boss, #preemptive strike, #project update

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I can't work for a boss who doesn't trust me to work independently! Boss: Is this a preemptive strike so I won't ask why you didn't turn in a project update? Wally: And more distrust. How do you live with yourself?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #debates, #discussion, #researching every state, #engineer, #solemn duty, #stamp out ignorance, #real thing, #googled it, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Please stop researching every statement I make. Dilbert: I can't. As an engineer, it is my solemn duty to stamp out ignorance. Woman: That's not a real thing. Dilbert: See for yourself. I just Googled it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #public speaking, #spit take, #industrial sludge, #intern will drink

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I will prove our industrial sludge is safe by forcing an intern to drink a glass of it. Voice: That's stupid. We want to see you drink it yourself. CEO: See if you can reach that guy in the second row with a spit take.