Certified Massage Therapist Comic Strips - Page 4

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57 Results for Certified Massage Therapist

View 31 - 40 results for certified massage therapist comic strips. Discover the best "Certified Massage Therapist" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #therapy, #psychiatry, #therapist, #tools, #pocket, #secondary colors, #color theory, #pens

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Dilbert lies on a couch and a psychologist sits next to him taking notes on a pad of paper. Dilbert says, "I can't stop putting writing tools in my shirt pocket . . ." Dilbert continues, "It started harmlessly . . . First a pen, then two. Now I'm afraid to go anywhere without a pen and pencil of every color." The psychiatrist asks, "Do you have the secondary colors?" Dilbert replies, "There are SECONDARY colors?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dog, #animal, #behavior, #hugged, #mom, #charging, #pet, #dates, #disasters, #touch, #somebody, #session, #doc

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Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to the couch taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . My dog started charging me to pet him . . ." Dilbert continues, "I haven't hugged Mom since I was twelve . . . My dates are always disasters . . . I just need to touch somebody." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Good session, Doc. Thanks." The psychologist says, "Nice try."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1991's comic on:


Tags #couch, #problem, #therapy, #Dilbert, #mother, #mom, #evil, #swat

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Dilbert lies on a couch and his psychologist sits next to the couch taking notes. The therapist says, "Your problem is my mother." Dilbert asks, "YOUR mother? I don't even know your mother. How could she be my problem?" The psychiatrist says, "She's an evil woman and she lives under the couch." An old woman says, "What you need is a good swat!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #very annoying, #see therpaist, #emotional problem, #misinterprets speech

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Ratbert sits on top of Dilbert's monitor and says, "I've become one of those people who misinterprets everything you say." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Ratbert says, "Why? Are you saying that nothing should ever change? Maybe you shouldn't be so rigid." Dilbert says, "This could be very annoying." Ratbert replies, "Maybe you should see a therapist for your emotional problem."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #boss evil, #entity from another dimension, #synergies, #win win solution, #delight every customer, #new internet access, #tour of cubicles

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Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The therapist asks, "When did you start believing that your boss was an evil entity from another dimension?" Dilbert imagines the Boss telling him, "I'd like to sit in on your customer meeting." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The Boss, Dilbert and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Let me share the high level strategic view." Dilbert thinks, "Here we go." The Boss spreads his arms and says, "Life began in the primordial stew literally hundreds of years ago . . ." The Boss continues, "But we are the only company who ever found synergies in our win-win solutions!" The caption says, "Two hours later." The Boss says, "And we won't sop until we delight every customer!" The woman looks shocked and Dilbert covers his eyes. The customer says, "I'd be delighted if you just told me about your new Internet access product." The Boss replies, "I cancelled the funding yesterday." The Boss stands up and says, "Who's up for a tour of our cubicles?" Dilbert says, "Gotta go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #desired salary, #million dollars, #how much expected, #misleading, #salary, #fantasy layered, #little shoulder massge, #15 %, #money

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Dilbert wears a suit and holds a briefcase. He says, "Wish me luck, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "If you get more luck, wouldn't there be less luck available for me?" A woman at a desk looks at Dilbert's application and says, "For 'desired salary' you wrote 'one million dollars.'" Dilbert says, "Yes, thanks for asking." The woman says, "Perhaps the question is misleading. The application should have asked what salary you EXPECT." Dilbert replies, "Oh . . . Well, I expect you'll hire somebody more qualified and my salary will remain unchanged." The woman says, "No, too honest. I'm looking for something CLOSE to reality, with maybe twenty-percent fantasy layered on top." Dilbert replies, "Okay . . . I'd like a fifteen-percent raise and a little shoulder massage." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Why does it seem that I'm the only honest guy on earth?" Dogbert replies, "Your type tends not to reproduce."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1998's comic on:


Tags #criticize coworkers, #look smart, #nuts, #dogbert therapist, #weekly sessions, #run out of money, #vure, #therapy, #paid by hour, #fasle memory, #aliens, #psychology

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Ed lies in the therapy bed and tells Dogbert, " I criticize my co-workers to make myself look smart." Dogbert says, "Apparently it isn't working." Ed asks, "What do you mean by that?" Dogbert replies, "Nothing. Oooh. That reminds me to add nuts to my grocery list." Dogbert says, "I recommend that we have weekly sessions until you run out of money." Ed asks, "Can you cure me?" Dogbert replies, "No, I'm paid by the hour. I'll give you problems you've never even heard of." Dogbert says, "We have a few minutes today. Would you like a false memory?" Ed replies, "Maybe something with aliens?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #websmistress ming, #broken link, #Men, #perverse pleasure, #graphics are slow

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Webmistress Ming: Wally and Ming are talking in a hallway, Ming is holding a folder. Wally says to Ming: "You have a broken link." Ming answers: "I know, I know." Asok is standing in the door of Ming's cubicle and Ming is sitting at her computer. Asok says to Ming: "You have a broken link." Ming answers:"I know, I know." Ming is lying down on a reclining chair at a therapist office, the therapist is sitting behind her and taking notes. Ming says to the therapist: "The men are getting perverse pleasure from reporting my broken links." The therapist answers: "Your graphics are slow, too"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #early business trip, #won by default, #secretary uses office

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Wally is holding a cup and he says to the boss, who is walking holding a briefcase: "Look who's back early from his business trip. How did it go?" The boss answers: "Excellent! I won every meeting by default. The other side never showed up." Wally says to the boss: "Did you know your secretary uses your office when you're gone?" The boss answers: "For what?" Alice is in the boss's office getting a massage.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #therapy session, #everyone is lying, #stock market, #congress, #boss, #therapy, #scientifically proven, #money, #psychology, #Politics

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Dilbert: It feel like everyone in the world is lying to me. Congress is lying about the budget. Stock analysts are lying about their recommendations, My boss is lying, This therapy stuff us scientifically proven to work, right? Therapist Its 100% effective.