Cheap Or Smart Comic Strips - Page 4

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164 Results for Cheap Or Smart

View 31 - 40 results for cheap or smart comic strips. Discover the best "Cheap Or Smart" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #restaurant, #tipping waitress, #14 % tip, #service was excellent, #cheap, #lying, #unscrupulous weasel, #bad sevice

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Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit at a table in a restaurant. The waitress hands them the check and says, "Thank you. Please come again." The waitress thinks, "After I'm dead." Dilbert says, "If we each put in twelve dollars, that will give her a healthy fourteen percent tip." Wally says, "The service was excellent. I'll put in a little extra." Dilbert and Alice say, "Me too." Dilbert counts the money and says, "That gives us . . . Um . . . Only thirty-four dollars." Dilbert says, "One of us is a cheap, lying, unscrupulous weasel." They look at each other. Dilbert says, "Or maybe the service was bad." Wally says, "She didn't smile enough." Alice says, "Same as last week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1998's comic on:


Tags #criticize coworkers, #look smart, #nuts, #dogbert therapist, #weekly sessions, #run out of money, #vure, #therapy, #paid by hour, #fasle memory, #aliens, #psychology

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Ed lies in the therapy bed and tells Dogbert, " I criticize my co-workers to make myself look smart." Dogbert says, "Apparently it isn't working." Ed asks, "What do you mean by that?" Dogbert replies, "Nothing. Oooh. That reminds me to add nuts to my grocery list." Dogbert says, "I recommend that we have weekly sessions until you run out of money." Ed asks, "Can you cure me?" Dogbert replies, "No, I'm paid by the hour. I'll give you problems you've never even heard of." Dogbert says, "We have a few minutes today. Would you like a false memory?" Ed replies, "Maybe something with aliens?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #celebrate service reps, #exceptional customer service, #emplyees, #extra pay, #smart employees, #someday

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The boss says, to Dilbert and Wally, "From now on, we will celebrate our service reps who give exceptional customer service." Dilbert says, "Question: Why would we celebrate employees who do extra work without getting extra pay?" The boss says, "It will make them happy." Dilbert says, "Can we celebrate the smart employees some day?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #promote, #from within, #yanking your chain, #hiring from outside, #you're so smart

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Caption:"Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sits at a desk across from Asok. Catbert says, "We like to promote from within the company Asok." Catbert says, "But what we like even more is yanking your chain and the hiring from outside!" Catbert say, "Explain why you work here if you're so smart." Asok says, "I'm timid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #the turnaround ceo, #mole, #fire, #affect revenue, #outsource everything, #one smart employee, #risk, #rude

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The Turnaround CEO The devilish looking CEO asks Dilbert, "Tell me, mole, who can I fire without affecting revenue?" Dilbert replies, "In theory, you could outsource everything and run the company with one smart employee." Dilbert continues, "And at the risk of sounding rude, only one of us knew that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2001's comic on:


Tags #lower costs, #retirement package, #smart employees, #rewrite mission statement, #fit better, #retired by now

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Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "First, we'll lower costs by offering a retirement package that induces all the smart employees to leave." The Boss continues, "Then we'll rewrite our mission statement to make it fit better." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Our new mission statement is, 'If you can read this you should have retired by now." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #innovative design firm, #observe methods, #steal from them, #secret, #hiring smart people, #involves easles

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "We've hired the world's most innovative design firm." The Boss continues, "We'll observe their successful methods and steal them for our own. Heh Heh Heh." Dilbert turns to The Boss and says, "Maybe their secret is hiring smart people." The Boss responds, "I'm hoping it involves easels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #training budget slashed, #cancel class, #already paid, #appear smart, #while secretly stupid

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "The training budget got slashed. You have to cancel your class." Dilbert responds, "We already paid for the class." The Boss replies, "We'll look bad if you go." Dilbert says, "So, our plan is to appear smart while secretly being stupid?" The Boss replies, "You can make anything sound bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #replace myself, #cheap elbonian labor, #describe appearence, #coffe mug

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Wally: I'm planning to replace myself with cheap Elbonian labor. Watch this: Turn around and try to describe my appearance. Dilbert: I see glasses...a coffee mug...and thats all, Wally: This will work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #how many quarters, #in a year, #board meeting, #sound smart

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The boss: I forgot how many quarters are in a year. Carol: two Unless its a leap year: then you have two quarters plus a penny, The boss; Maybe I'll say that at the board meeting to sound smart. Carol: Im free.