wally at team meeting.
wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it.
wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch.
office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones?
wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.
boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support.
dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn.
dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order.
dogbert: and he's gone.