Search Results for "crazy"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1996's comic on:


Tags #beard, #close my eyes, #crazy beard, #new boss, #pet emplyee, #spin chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ted says, "As your new boss I have yet to select my 'pet' employee. I shall do this by closing my eyes and pointing the beard on my forehead." Ted sits facing away from the table with his eyes closed. He says, "To make it fair, I'll close my eyes while one of you spins my chair!" As Alice pushes Ted's chair into the stairwell Dilbert whispers, "Alice . . . Um . . . Technically this isn't 'spinning.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #description, #taxi, #cheat, #running the meter, #flat rate, #poor language skills, #efficnecy, #taxi running people

View Transcript

Transcript

An attendant says to Dilbert, "This taxi is yours. Here's a description of how he'll cheat you." Dilbert sits in the back of the taxi cab and says, "It says you'll be running the meter despite the flat rate. Then you'll feign poor language skills when I question you." The driver looks crazy. Dilbert says, "I can't fault your efficiency, though." The driver hits a bicycle and a pedestrian.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1998's comic on:


Tags #fertility drugs in coffeee, #bloated, #hoagie, #evidence of pregnancy, #weight gain

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice and a bloated Dilbert sitting at a table with meals. Dilbert says, "I've been eating like crazy since Dogbert put the fertility drugs in my coffee." Dilbert pats his bloated belly and continues, "I'm guessing I have ten or fifteen babies in there. It's hard to keep them fed." Alice says, "And your only evidence of pregnancy is weight gain?" As Dilbert lifts a sandwich to his mouth, he says, "Here comes another hoagie, kids!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #new engineer, #sarcasm, #shows around, #telephone, #cubicle, #hallway, #every foot staep, #bad points, #office tour, #crazy, #bad conditions, #employement

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Laurie's our new engineer. Show her the ropes, Dilbert." "I meant figuratively." Dilbert: "This is your anti-productivity pod." "It's equipped with a little device that rings anytime you try to concentrate." "The top is open so none of the background noise is inadvertently muffled." "And you're on the main aisle, so you'll be haunted every minute by footsteps behind you. Step...step...step." The Boss: "We need to talk."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #Catbert, #sick days, #unusual reasons, #imagined to be fly, #hair, #crazy reasons, #made up reason, #fake excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

CAption: "CAtbert: Evil H.R. Director" CAtbert says, "Wally, you've taken sick days for unusual reasons." Catbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "For example, one day you got sick because you "...accidently imagined what ir would be like if you were a fly." Catbert says, "And today it's your hair?" Wally says, "I lathered and rinsed but I don't remember repeating."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #boss, #crazy, #fear, #introcutions, #jumpy, #lulu, #no sense of proportion, #over reacts, #scared

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: dilbert, you'll be working with Lulu. she's almost normal. But she has no sense of proportion fro problems. Dilbert: Did you notice that he looked at you funny? Lulu: WHAT?!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #flight, #three am, #slap head, #uncross eyes, #coffee, #crazy, #alice crazy, #airplane, #travel airfare

View Transcript

Transcript

A frazzled-looking Alice says to Dilbert, "My flight didn't get in until three this morning." Alice asks Dilbert, "Would you mind slapping the back of my head until my eyes uncross?" As Dilbert stands behind Alice and raises a notebook to slap her, Alice pushes her coffee cup toward Asok the Intern. Alice says, "Pour all of your coffee in here and no one gets hurt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #laughs alot, #hired, #morale, #big impact, #crazy alice

View Transcript

Transcript

"You laugh at everything, whether it's funny or not." "Ha ha ha!! It's true." "You're hired. You'll have a big impact on morale!" "Ha ha ha!! Yes, I will!" "Must stay alive." "HA HA HA!! COMPUTERS ARE FUNNY! HA HA!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #paranoid, #emplooyees, #trying to kill, #pauses between words, #no payment, #ruled out paranoia, #session, #therapist session, #crazy, #couch, #offensive, #cheap, #reluctance to heal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I think my employees are trying t kill me. Am I paranoid? The boss: put your answer in an metal. O spot want to be paying for the pauses between you words. Therapist: Ive ruled out paranoia. The Boss: phew thats a relief.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #no frills airline, #$23 run to destinations, #crazy stuff, #saliva

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I plan to start my own no-frill airline." "For only $23, I'll let people hold out their arms and run to their destinations." "And they won't be allowed to eat or swallow their own saliva."