Create Council Comic Strips - Page 4

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113 Results for Create Council

View 31 - 40 results for create council comic strips. Discover the best "Create Council" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logo, #prototype, #graphics dept, #create logos

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Dilbert says, "And I need you to design a logo for our prototype." A man says, "We don't do that. We're the graphics support department. Talk to the graphics production department." Dilbert says, "They create logos?" The man says, "No, they tell people we do it."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prepare proposal, #prodcuts, #expertise, #figure out, #expensive bidder, #bid low, #essential upgardes, #randomly assigned, #create lies, #proposal, #can't win

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The Boss: "Prepare a proposal for this customer." Dilbert: "Why me?" "You were walking by. I had it in my head." "We can't win this business. We don't have the right products or expertise." The Boss: "Just say we do. We'll figure it out later." Dilbert: "They know we don't. And we'd still be the most expensive bidder." The Boss: "Bid low. We'll make it up with change orders and unexpected essential upgrades." Dilbert: "In other words, I've been randomly assigned to create lies for a proposal we can't win for a service we can't perform." The Boss: "You make competing sound bad."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finished work, #high profile assignment, #create docuemnt, #rout it around, #how to keep intern busy

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Asok: "I finished all of my work, and now I'm available for another high profile assignment." The Boss: "Create a document and route it around for approval." Asok: "On what topic?" The Boss: "How to keep an intern busy."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #letters, #numbers, #create password, #dumb, #password creator

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The Boss: "Now what?" Dilbert: "Create a password that's at least six characters long with a mix of letters and numbers." "How about 123?" Dilbert: "Uh, no." Dilbert: "It has to include letters and be at least six characters long." "How about ABC?" Dilbert: "Letters AND numbers and at least six characters LONG!" The Boss: "Foursome?" Dilbert: "GAAA!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #ignorance (knowledge), #futurists, #know how, #create entire universe, #brown bag lunches, #slurp

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Alice: Futurists say that someday humans will have the know-how to create an entire universe. Boss: Where would they put it? Alice: We should do these brown bag lunches less often.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #movies, #clever video, #create video, #internet, #go viral, #marketing experts, #engineer, #more passion, #loser attitude, #viral video, #Entertainment, #technology, #engineering

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Boss: I want you to create a clever video about our product for the Internet. But make sure it goes viral or you're a total failure. Dilbert: No one can predict what goes viral. Marketing experts fail at this sort of thing 99% of the time. I'm an engineer with no relevant skills for this assignment. Boss: Maybe you could succeed if you had more passion. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I need a rational boss, not passion! Boss: That's sort of a loser attitude. Asok: Hey, my video is going viral!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #create itself, #execute, #executives, #obliviousness, #strategy, #succeed, #meeting, #emplyees, #discussion, #business

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CEO: We can only succeed if we execute. Wally: How is that different from saying we can only succeed if we succeed. CEO: There's also the strategy. Wally: Does the strategy create itself?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fraternization, #internet & world wide web, #friends with ghoats, #real freinds, #imaginary ones, #idea is ridiculous, #ridiculous idea, #facebook freinds

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Dogbert: You need to create a product that gives people the illusion of being friends with ghosts. Boss: People only want real friends, not imaginary ones. Your idea is ridiculous. Dogbert: How many friends do you have on Facebook? Boss: Seven hundred. Why?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #office workers, #solving problem, #stadardization policies, #high five

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Dilbert: Congratulations on solving every important problem in the world. I assume that's what happened. Otherwise, you wouldn't have time to create desk standardization policies. High five?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prosperity, #competition (psychology)

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The Boss says, "We're not creative enough to create whole new markets, the way apple does." The Boss says, "And we're not powerful enough for a fast follower strategy." The Boss says, "What we need is a sexy, strategic-sounding name for crumb-snatching." Dilbert says, "Niche player?"