Crime Scene Comic Strips - Page 4
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85 Results for Crime Scene
View 31 - 40 results for crime scene comic strips. Discover the best "Crime Scene" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 11,
2005
Tags company relocating, high crime, tax reasons, ceo says, limo, parking garage, chain bike to whino, advice from ceo
Transcript
The Boss: "Our company will be relocating to a high-crime area for tax reasons." "Our CEO says don't worry about your safety because your limo can pull right into the underground parking garage." "Then he added, "Or chain your bicycle to a wino. Whatever."
Saturday March 12,
2005
Tags dont worry, high crime area, experts assure you, gange members, exhautsed, beat up
Transcript
CAtbert: Don't worry that the company is moving to a high-crime area. "My experts assure me that you'll have a 90% chance of survival every time you walk outside." "That estimate depends on the assumption that the gang members become exhausted from beating you up."
Monday March 14,
2005
Tags high crime area, fiduciary, misconducting, cfo, kicked, beat up
Transcript
Alice: "I hate walking to work in this high-crime area." "Take this, you fiduciary misconducting *#@!%" "That was our C.E.O."<Br>"I know."
Tuesday March 15,
2005
Tags fist of death, alice implicated, beat up men, high crime, area, office, picture, pyramid shaped hair
Transcript
Senior management has decided to move our office out of this high-crime area. "Because every one of them was beaten up in front og the building by a guy with pyramid-shaped hair.'<Br>"Police released this sketch. The guy likes to yell something about a "fist of death.""
Wednesday October 19,
2005
Tags delete incriminating email, witness to crime, no good plan
Transcript
I need you to delete all of our incriminating e-mails before the court sees them. "That plan is no good because I'd be a witness to the crime...unless you had me killed." "Phase Two is none of your concern." "It has a phase???"
Sunday July 02,
2000
Tags system failures, data aren't actionable, no practical value, crime, guilty, feel awkward, incident
Transcript
Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "We had fifteen system failures with the previous software." Dilbert says to Ted, "Your data aren't actionable." Ted replies, "What?" Dilbert continues, "Your presentation has no practical walue." Ted throws his hands in the air in defeat and says to Dilbert, "Well, if that's suddenly a crime then call me guilty!" Wally says, "Now the meeting feels awkward can we go back to acting interested?" Dilbert replies, "I guess." Ted says, "Fine. Let's put this ugly incident behind us."
Thursday September 13,
2012
Tags rich people, stock market, victims, insider training, victimless crime, rose bushes, gardner, money
Transcript
CEO: I did some insider trading and totally got away with it. It felt great! It was a victimless crime so I feel no guilt whatsoever. Dogbert: Do you know what victimless means? CEO: Yes. It's like the time I strangled my gardener for overwatering the rose bushes. Dogbert: I see the problem.
Tuesday February 09,
2010
Tags boss, stuck, security, ductwork, cool device, dead, calling for help, crime, alive, tools, machine, air vent
Transcript
Boss is stuck in the ductwork. Dilbert says, "The turbo blower kicks in after the lubricant cycle." Dilbert says, "We're sure he's already dead, right?" The Boss says, "Help!" Alice says, "Arguably, the real crime here would be building a machine this cool and not using it." The Boss says, "Can anyone hear me?"
Monday May 11,
2009
Tags raise, bribery, agreement, money, clothes, confused, crime
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally says, "According to the news, everyone in power is corrupt." Catbert says, "So?" Wally says, "If you give me a 20% raise, I'll kick back half to you." Catbert says, "Done." Dilbert says, "How did you afford a new vest in this economy? Crime?" Wally says, "I'm dabbling."
Tuesday May 12,
2009
Tags crime, asking, confused, ridicule, worthless, drinking, coffee
Transcript
Wally says, "I've decided to dabble in crime. I nees some henchmen. Are you in?" Asok says, "What does a henchman do?" Wally says, "A henchman's job is to be gunned down in reverse order to his importance." Asok says, "How important am I?" Wally says, "I wouldn't pack lunch for orientation day."

