Deal Directly Comic Strips - Page 4

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103 Results for Deal Directly

View 31 - 40 results for deal directly comic strips. Discover the best "Deal Directly" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #noriko, #plaent, #account, #ability, #contract

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Dogbert, Dilbert and Noriko sit on a park bench. Noriko yells at Dilbert, "You adults have totally messed up the planet!! Where's the accountability??!" Noriko continues, "You know our implied social contract! You take care of the kids, then we take care of you when you're old. That's how it's supposed to work." Dilbert says, "Well, I . . ." Noriko yells, "The deal is OFF!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #voting, #opposite positions, #cancel out, #republican, #dogs don't vote, #democrat

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Dilbert: "Do you remember last election day...and how you convinced me to not vote?" "You argued that since we disagreed on all issues, we could both stay home and the outcome would be the same as if we both voted." "Dogs can't vote!" Dogbert: "Well, not directly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #big money, #deal, #dog, #Dogbert, #executive, #mercury dimes, #negotiate, #static network, #stock, #static for sale, #animals

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CEO: We'll give you sixty billion for the "dogcart static network" half f that will be stock in our company. Dogbert: Who would want stock in a company that would pay city billion for static? CEO: Not us thats the point. Dogbert: Id like it all in mercury dimes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #assist me, #cartoonists disclaimer, #cucumber mutants, #disclaimer, #not funny, #quite a pickle, #world domination

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Dogbert: I created you cucumber mutants to assist me in my bid for world domination! Bulletin I interrupt this strip because the whole giant cucumber theme isn't as fun as I thought it would be. lets go directly to the big finish. scott DOGBERT: Then Waldo grabbed the "salad shooter" there were peels everywhere! Dilbert: sounds like quite a pickle.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #product development process, #buy in, #managers, #happy if dead, #executive oversight, #issues, #blind, #looked at bulb

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The Boss points to a diagram and says, "Problem: our product development process requires buy-in from managers who'd be happier if we all died." As he puts a new transparency on the overhead projector, the Boss says, "My solution is to create executive oversight groups who don't understand the issues and don't have time to meet." Wally and Dilbert watch as the Boss looks into the light and yells, "I'm . . . I'm blind!" Dilbert says, "You looked directly at the bulb again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #clean, #date, #work

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Dogbert sits on a pillow by the fireplace. Dilbert says, "I'll be back late. I have a date with Sharon to grout her bathtub." Dogbert asks, "You call that a date?" Dogbert says, "Last week you cleaned her rain gutters and painted her house . . . The week before, you installed her sprinkler system and rebuilt her car's engine." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think she might be using you?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . At least I get lunch out of the deal." Dogbert asks, "She actually prepares food for you?" Dilbert carries a bag and a tool box. He replies, "No, bag lunch. I get to eat it during break."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #avocados, #dispute, #cram, #chips, #nose, #cados, #years, #Dogbert

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Dilbert says, "I made a nice avacado dip for us, Dogbert." Dogbert sits on the hassock holding a bag of potato chips. He says, "I hate avacados." Dilbert sits in his chair and asks, "How do you know, if you haven't tried them?" Dogbert says, "How do you know you don't like cramming potato chips up your nose? YOU've never tried THAT." Dilbert replies, "Fair enough . . . I can't dispute your logic." Dilbert says, "If you try the dip, I'll cram potato chips up my nose." Dogbert says, "Deal." Dogbert tries the dip and says, "Hmm . . . Good." Dilbert stuffs chips up his nose and repeats, "Ouch . . . Ouch . . ." Dilbert says, "Id feelth aboud like I thoughd id would." Dogbert says, "I lied. I've liked avacados for years."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new product deal, #alert in effect, #danger new idea, #crush o matic

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Wally and Dilbert stand with the Boss. Dilbert says, "Wally and I came up with a great new product idea!" A voice says over an intercom, "Inspiration alert in effect!!" Another voice says, "Danger! New idea!" An arm extends down and drops a metal casing onto the Boss's head. The intercom says, "State your idea now." There is a large mallet poised over Dilbert's head that has written on it, "Crush-O-Matic." Dilbert says to Wally, "Um, you tell him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1996's comic on:


Tags #elbonian database, #payroll, #accounts receivable, #golf balls

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Dilbert and an Elbonian man sit at a conference table. The Elbonian says, "Our Elbonian database product can replace every one of your current systems." Dilbert says, "No thanks." The Elbonian tells Alice, "It can do payroll, accounts receivable, inventory, sales . . ." Alice says, "No thanks." The Elbonian tells the Boss, "And I'll throw in some golf balls." The Boss replies, "It's a deal! Just toss them in the lake with all my other ones."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dircetor, #boss didn't see struggle, #low performance, #alice, #human resources binder, #downsize

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Alice sits across from Catbert's desk. She says, "I was so good at my job that I never needed to bother my boss, but he gave me a low rating because he didn't see me struggling." Catbert replies, "I must refer to my human resources binders to see how to deal with this." Catbert looks at a bookcase filled with binders. Most of the binders are labeled "Downsize" and a few are labeled "Hire Losers."