Demand For Engineers Comic Strips - Page 4
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271 Results for Demand For Engineers
View 31 - 40 results for demand for engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Demand For Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 15,
1994
Tags #delay, #beta trial, #exploding, #engineers, #pessimists, #foucs, #positive aspects, #trial, #hassle, #non disclosure, #agreements
Transcript
"You've got to delay the beta trial with customers until we figure out why it keeps exploding!" "You engineers are such pessimists. Just once, try to focus on the positive aspects of the trial!" "We won't need to hassle with 'non-disclosure agreements'."
Monday August 22,
1994
Tags #engineers, #filberts job security, #menacing statements, #one option, #reducing headcount, #works hard, #finish project
Transcript
Dilbert: The only way to finish the project on time is by adding four engineers. Wally: theres one other option. you could make menacing statements about filberts job security until he works five times as hard. Just kidding. hee hee! The Boss: Ive been thinking about reducing headcount.
Friday November 11,
1994
Tags #buy put options, #engineers order, #management approval, #stock, #dogcart the consultant
Transcript
The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I recommend letting the engineers order their own supplies without management approval." Wally yells, "Yes!!! I'm rich!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dogbert continues, "And I recommend buying 'Put' options in your stock." Wally stands and says, "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!"
Tuesday April 04,
1995
Tags #dogbert the consultant, #relocate russia, #hire engineers, #weed out dumb, #like heaven
Transcript
Pointing to a map, Dogbert tells the Boss, "Your best bet is to relocate the company to Russia." Dogbert continues, "You can hire engineers for two cents a year!" The Boss asks, "Is it difficult to weed out the dumb ones?" Dogbert says, "No. And that leads me into the good news about their occupational safety laws." The Boss says, "It's like heaven!"
Thursday May 11,
1995
Tags #divide check, #engineers, #unpopular subsidy, #water, #13%, #tip amount, #questionable
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and another man sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert looks at the check and says, "We could simply divide the check by three . . ." The waitress thinks, "Uh-oh. Engineers." Dilbert continues, "But that would result in an unpopular subsidy of Wally's salmon. Does anybody have a calculator-watch?" The caption says, "Hours later." The other engineer says to the waitress as she approaches the table with a pitcher, "This is the tie-breaker round of water to decide if you get 13% or 13.5%." The waitress growls, "RRRR."
Tuesday June 27,
1995
Tags #benchmark, #world class companies, #compare, #verbs, #nouns, #assign, #engineers, #field research, #pointy haired idioits
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I want you to benchmark these world-class companies. Find out how we compare." Alice responds, "I'm betting they don't make verbs out of nouns. And I'll bet they don't assign engineers to do field research." Alice talks on the phone in her office. She asks, "Do you guys have any pointy-haired idiots running your place? . . . Would you like one?"
Monday July 03,
1995
Tags #engineers, #charge time, #marketing, #reprogram, #compuetr, #radiation, #alter dna, #possible, #business
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer. An employee peers around the door of Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Ha ha! Now that the engineers must charge their time to marketing, we OWN you!" Dilbert replies, "I'll just reprogram your computer through the LAN so its radiation will alter your DNA." The employee asks, "Is that possible??!" Dilbert responds "As far as you know."
Monday July 10,
1995
Tags #engineering, #uses program, #marketing, #prodcut, #urrelevant, #engineers, #same as marketeers, #sitting in cave, #rocks are edicble, #recipes, #business
Transcript
Stan in marketing works at his computer while Dilbert looks over his shoulder. Dilbert says, "Everybody in engineering uses this program I wrote. I think marketing should turn it into a product." Stan replies, "I wouldn't buy this." Dilbert tells Stan, "That's irrelevant because the target market would be engineers." Stan says, "Engineers think the same as marketeers." Dilbert replies, "If that were true we'd be sitting in a cave trying to decide if rocks are edible." Stan points to the computer and says, "You know, you could keep recipes on this."
Saturday August 05,
1995
Tags #ratbert the temo worker, #demand respect, #eye contact, #peripheral vision
Transcript
Ratbert shouts from inside his box, "I'm only a temp, but I demand respect!!" Ratbert continues, "Okay, maybe that's too much to ask. But I demand that somebody make eye contact with me!!" The Boss comes by. He looks at Ratbert and says, "How's this?" Ratbert, who has grabbed hold of the Boss's tie, shouts, "That's peripheral vision!!!"
Wednesday September 13,
1995
Tags #writing email, #protest new policy, #empty trash, #highly paid engineers, #unproductive tsak, #inventing the future, #quality faire
Transcript
Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk. Dilbert says, "I'm writing an e-mail to protest the new policy of making the employees empty their own trash at night." Dilbert continues, "It's stupid to have highly paid engineers doing unproductive tasks when we could be inventing the future!" Wally asks, "Are you coming to the 'Quality Faire?'" Dilbert answers, "No, this will take another hour."