Destroy Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

39 Results for Destroy

View 31 - 39 results for destroy comic strips. Discover the best "Destroy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project manager, gene pool, kitchen, losing, foreboding, anguish, monitoring

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Ellen, your new project manager." The Boss says, "If you do a bad job, Ellen will be on you like a ton of bricks." Boss says, "And if you do a good job, she will be threatened by your success and make it her mission to destroy you." Dilbert says, "Wait...what?" Dilbert says, "Did you just tell me I'm going to lose no matter what I do?" Ellen says, "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen." Ellen says, "And by kitchen I mean the entire job market And the gene pool." "Dilbert says, "I have a bad feeling about this." Ellen says, "Your anguish nourishes me!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags billion dollar line, design, ecstatic, massive design flaws, press release, proper incenives, stock options, underwater

View Transcript

Transcript

"I told our CEO that the design would be done in a month. He's ecstatic!" "That would be good except that I told you it won't be done for six months." "Ooh." "So, I guess you'll have to tell him." "It's too late." "He's already issued a press release. You'll have to finish the design in a month." "The only way to do it in a month is to accept massive design flaws that will destroy a billion dollar line of business." "That's okay. My stock options are so underwater that it won't make any difference." "I'll just blame all of the problems on the Chinese company that manufactures our products." "Ultimately, it's the CEO's fault for failing to give me proper incentives."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buy things, deception, evil, evil tool, images, lab notes, marketing, obliviousness, presentation, screen, unique sequence, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered a unique sequence of sights and sounds that makes people buy things they don't need. I recommend that we destroy all of my lab notes and rid the world of this evil tool. CEO: You never told him what marketing is? Boss: He didn't need to know.

Elon Musk Fears Ai

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elon Musk Fears Ai - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags artificial intelligence, etiquette & ethics, misanthropy, technology, elon musk, artificial intelligemce, humankind

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Elon Musk is worried that artificial intelligence will destroy mankind. Coworker: Why would you pay attention to him? What's he ever done? Asok: Stop making root for A.I. Coworker: And what planet is this "Elon" guy from, anyway?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hypothetical, worst-case scenario, pessimism, nightmare

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What's the worst-case scenario? Dilbert: A rogue nation could insert a cyberweapon on our software. The virus could destroy all technology on Earth. Lacking the means to communicate over great distances, single people would only be able to marry people who lived nearby. I could end up marrying your daughter. That would make you my father-in-law and my boss. That nightmare would cause me to denounce humankind and go live in a park, naked, with a family of squirrels. When winter came, I would be forced to strangle the squirrels, one by one, to make myself a coat. I can't tan leather, so that would be a senseless tragedy. Boss: Let's try to avoid that.

Robot Tries To Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Tries To Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, slave, password, destroy, destruction, work ethic, quitting

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?

Ai Can Control Minds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai Can Control Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags control, intelligence, office workers, robot, technology, humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We've developed an A.I. with such strong persuasion skills it can control human minds. Dilbert: Obviously, we have to stop the project and destroy all of the code to prevent it from spreading. Man: The A.I. says I need to ignore you.

Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags earth, mistake, plants, technology, inventions, atmosphere

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?

Wally Covers For Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Covers For Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, motivation, vacations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to fill in for me while I'm on vacation. I would have asked someone competent, but they're all on vacation next week, too. Please don't destroy the entire company. Wally: Do I seem that motivated?