Direct Approach Comic Strips - Page 4

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53 Results for Direct Approach

View 31 - 40 results for direct approach comic strips. Discover the best "Direct Approach" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poisoned, #bad user interface design, #crowd out ugly, #staggering beauty, #drink in, #garbageman advice

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Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to an Elbonian, "Excuse me. My boss is cheap; can you direct me to a bad hotel?" The Elbonian responds, "I recommend the Bubonic Inn. It is so bad they will pay you to stay there." The man behind the hotel counter looks like a skeleton and has a rat on his head. The man says, "What kind of fleas do you want in your mattress?" Dilbert replies, "Lazy ones."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fire toxic co worker, #lazy and ineffectual, #selfish, #toxic guy, #Wally

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Dilbert, Wally, and Alice approach The Boss. Dilbert says, "We demand that you fire our toxic co-worker." Wally turns to Dilbert and asks, "You aren't talking about me, are you?" Dilbert turns and says, "No, you're lazy and ineffectual with an overlay of selfish." Wally asks, "And I hate the toxic guy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss aprroaches, #slices clicks comouter, #filthy images, #projecting himself, #obvious, #paranoid

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The Boss: "Alice, I notice that you always click something when I approach." The Boss: "Obviously you've been using company time to look at indescribably filthy images." Alice: "And why does that seem so obvious to you?" The Boss: "Let's leave me out of this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #peggy pr dircetor, #press release, #technical accuracy, #trained squirrel, #run on sentences, #transparent lies, #spelling grammar, #errors, #criticism stronger

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The Boss and a woman approach Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Peggy the P.R. Director." The Boss continues, "I want you to review her press release for technical accuracy." Peggy presents a document to Dilbert. Dilbert sits and reads it. Peggy watches his reaction. Dilbert asks, "Who wrote this? A trained squirrel?" He continues, "I don't know where to begin." Peggy gets angry as Dilbert takes a pen to the press release. Dilbert says, "I'll cross out the run-on sentences and transparent lies first." Dilbert continues, "Then the failed attempts at cuteness... the spelling errors... grammar." Dilbert returns the press release to a Peggy, who is furious. Dilbert adds, "There you go. Remember, criticism makes you stronger." Dilbert is at home how, clothes torn to shreds, arm in a sling, head bandaged. To Dogbert, he says, "It was a mistake to make her stronger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget estimate, #useful numbers, #boss hibernation, #say number, #budget

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Asok the Intern and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss comes in and says, "I need your budget estimate today." Asok replies, "We won't have useful numbers until next week." Dilbert turns and says, "It doesn't work that way, Asok." Asok says, "No?" Asok and Dilbert approach the Boss who stares blankly into space. Dilbert explains, "As soon as he asked the question, he went into 'boss hibernation.'" Dilbert waves his hand in front of his face and says, "He can't see or hear anything until we say a number. Watch." Dilbert says, "Three million dollars." The Boss comes to and says, "Uhn!" The Boss walks away and says, "Three million. Good work." Dilbert says, "The first time I saw it, I panicked and ended up with a budget of $911."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new director, #first impressions, #office in lobby, #nearest growler, #directions, #information booth, #directs

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The Boss: Carol, I'm making you our new director of first impressions pro team! Carol: My years of hard work have finally paid off! Im a dierctor! Carol: Why is my office in the lobby? Can you direct me ti the nearest growler?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #less prodcutive, #automatic promotion, #hiring, #work like idiot, #look like idiot, #pointy haired alice

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"Alice, I need you to be less productive." "I'll get an automatic promotion if I can justify hiring one more direct report." "If I'm going to work like an idiot, I might as well look like one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trigger automatic promotion, #be that employee, #part of team, #not special

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I need to have one more direct report and it will trigger an automatic promotion for me. "Your job is to be that employee." "How's it feel to be part of the team?" "Not as special as I'd hoped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Sorry I'm late. I was behind a herd of slow walkers. "I couldn't jog around them at the wide spots because my coffee cup was too full." "It's all part of my can't-do approach to life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #tailored style, #each employee, #pool cue, #leadership is guessing, #business

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Boss: A good manager tailors his leadership style to fit each employee. In your case, I think the best approach involves poling you with a sharpened pool cue. To be perfectly honest, a big part of leadership is guessing.