Discovered Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for discovered comic strips. Discover the best "Discovered" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing acronyms, #wrong ones, #different meaning, #o.r.d>, #b.g.g., #q.r.b., #doesn't require nudity

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Asok the Intern sits at the conference table between the Boss and Dilbert. Asok says, "Per marketing's request, I did an O.R.D. for the B.G.G. that resulted in a Q.R.B." Dilbert and Alice listen as Asok continues, "Then I discovered that marketing uses those acronyms for different things." Asok says, "Their version doesn't require nudity, just to pick one example." The Boss puts his hands to his face in frustration.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #network outages, #network room, #unplugging server, #noisy, #server is waitress?, #lan

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Asok points to a diagram of a LAN configuration and says, "I have discovered the cause of our network outages." Asok continues, "Some idiot is using our network room for meetings and unplugging the server because it's too noisy." The Boss turns to Wally and Dilbert and says, "A server is like a waitress, right?" Wally replies, "Yeah, a noisy one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonian, #ad reputation, #our image, #leprechauns, #mud, #export, #primary export, #vegetarian backlash

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Dogbert is meeting with an Elbonian. The Elbonian says, "Elbonia has gotten a bad reputation. We need your help to rebuild our image." The Elbonian continues, "The problem began when we discovered a civilization of leprechauns living under our mud." The Elbonian continues, "Now they're our primary export. But we underestimated the vegetarian backlash."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #key board, #not unique, #carol adjusts, #making no sense

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The Boss: My keyboard looks exactly like everyone else's. The Boss: I need more of a management key board with special keys and that sort of thing. Carol: And the "{" becomes the newly discovered letter.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadly safety flaw, #stock plunge, #massive layoffs, #ruined career, #dead customers, #hardest

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Asok: "Wally, I discovered a deadly safety flaw in our product. Who should I inform?" Wally: "No one. The stock would plunge and we'd have massive layoffs. Your career would be ruined." Asok: "But my negligence could cause the deaths of a dozen customers." Wally: "The first dozen is always the hardest."

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"I did a background check and discovered that you embellished your resume." "For example, there's no college named 'The Einstein One.'" "And I'm reasonably certain that 'Smartology' isn't a real major."

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We discovered that the mud in Elbonia is caused by an abundance of oil and coal near the surface. "Our country will be prosperous and happy forever unless we do something incredibly stupid." "Are you building any weapons of mass destruction?" "Why? Is that a problem?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office buildings, #cubicle workplace, #open floor plan, #research, #pattern, #randomize evil, #science

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Boss: We're thinking of moving from a cubicle workplace to an open floor plan. Dilbert: Is that because you did some research that discovered that the open floor plan is the only thing worse than what we have now? Boss: They figured out the pattern. Catbert: I told you we should randomize our evil!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #money, #investments, #topping, #comparing, #proud, #bragging

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Topper Dilbert says, "Gaaa! My stocks are down 70%!" Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "Today I discovered that my house is insulated with cheese." Dilbert says, "Gouda?" Topper says, "Grated."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co worker, #tired, #dead, #died, #afterlife, #zombie, #alive again, #pictures in heaven, #eyes closed

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Topper Dilbert: I didn't get much sleep last night. Ted: That's nothing. I haven't slept in a month. Dilbert: Wouldn't that kill you? Ted: It did, but that's nothing. I spent a week in the afterlife, then I returned to this world as a zombie. I taught myself homeopathy and discovered a cure for zombies. Now I'm alive again. Please be done...Please be done...Please be done... I took pictures of heaven. Alice: Gaaa!!!"