Search Results for "don't finish on deadline"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #stress, #burned out, #gray hair, #don't handle stress

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I'm burned out by this job. Is that a gray hair? Dilbert: Have we met? Man: I started yesterday. I don't handle stress well.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #dont know, #flashdrive, #gadgets, #hand, #illness, #where its been, #data

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I put the data on a Flash drive for you. Dilbert: Get that thing away from me. I don't know where it's been. Coworker: I hope you mean the Flash drive and not my hand. Dilbert: I did. But you raise a good point about the hand.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #obliviousness, #hired consultant, #less confident, #overconfident people, #don't recognize mistakes, #didn't know studies, #feel like idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #retail business, #sales trip, #dont talk, #misleading impression, #engineering support, #after sale, #bag of meat, #lying bag of meat

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1989's comic on:


Tags #love, #poetry, #finish, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk writing a poem. Dogbert approaches and asks, "How's that poem coming?" Dilbert says, "Pretty good, but I may have written myself into a corner." Dogbert says, "Let's hear." Dilbert says, "All I have so far is 'Her love was like a wave-division multiplexor.'" Dogbert says, "Maybe just go for the big finish."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #andy the android, #humans, #sleep, #eat, #don't, #die, #existential, #crisis

View Transcript

Transcript

Andy: Androids want to be like humans. Tell me what humans do. Dilbert: Mostly, they eat, sleep, and hope they don't die. Andy: That's it? Dilbert: Unless they find religion... Then they eat, sleep, and look forward to dying.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #common sense, #school, #todd, #scissors, #russell, #dont, #run, #aaagh, #left handed, #teacher, #hand

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert hands a man a pair of scissors and says, "Todd, show the class how you hand these scissors to Russell." Dogbert yells, "Don't run! Don't run!" Russell screams. Todd looks down at Russell, who is lying on the floor, and says, "Sorry, Russell. It's the teacher's fault; he didn't even ask if I need left-handed scissors."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1992's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #understand, #sleep, #sleep deprivation, #Food, #starve, #artificial, #deadline, #ergle, #flumg, #muddle brained, #incomprehensible, #division, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Tim, "I understand you've been going without sleep or food for days just to meet some artificial deadline." Tim mumbles incoherently. The Boss continues, "As a result, your work has been muddle-brained and incomprehensible. You leave me no choice, Tim." Wally says to Dilbert, "Tim got promoted to division manager." Dilbert replies, "I wonder if he knows it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #process engineering consultant, #totally objective, #dont care, #right attitude, #flowing robe, #cherubs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "You should hire me as your process reengineering consultant." "I would be totally objective about what jobs to eliminate. Frankly, I don't care about anybody at your company!" Dilbert: "You've got the right attitude." Dogbert: "I think I'll wear a flowing robe and surround myself with cherubs."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #career criminlas, #jail, #sentences, #don't reduce crime, #commit crimes, #others commit crimes, #statistics

View Transcript

Transcript

"I oppose putting career criminals in jail for life. There's no evidence that longer sentences reduce crime." "So, your theory is that when career criminals are in jail, other people commit more crimes to keep the average up..." "Statistics don't lie, Dogbert." "Unless bad statistics went to jail - then the others WOULD like."