Drive Comic Strips - Page 4

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104 Results for Drive

View 31 - 40 results for drive comic strips. Discover the best "Drive" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hard drive, #too much smut, #film clips, #poor lighting, #move to external, #server, #disabled firewall

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"Alice, my laptop is slowing down. Can you take a look at it?" "Here's the problem. There's too much smut on your hard drive." "I recommend deleting the film clips that have poor lighting." "And here's a whole category that you haven't looked at in weeks." "I'll move those to an external drive in case you need 'em later." "Wally has all this stuff on the server. You don't need it on your laptop." "What the...? You pinhead! You disabled your firewall!" "If you work here long enough, your outrage ends up in all of the wrong places." "Who moved my stapler?!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pet peeve, #cellphones, #restaurants, #public, #talk louder, #just rude, #decides whats rude, #commitee, #common sense, #drive through, #using microphone

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Dilbert, Dogbert, and a woman are walking outside. The woman says, "My pet peeve is when people use their cell phones in restaurants." Dilbert asks, "Why? Do they talk louder than the other people in the restaurant?" The woman responds, "No. It's just rude." Dilbert asks, "Who decides what is rude? Is there a committee?" The woman responds, "It's common sense. You're not supposed to talk into electronic gadgets at a restaurant." Dilbert asks, "What about a drive-through place? Is it okay to order your food using the microphone?" The woman is visibly frustrated. Dogbert answers his cell phone, "Yello." Dogbert says into his cell phone, "Hi, Ratbert... Yeh, he made the mistake of talking... The goodnight kiss is a definite no-go." Dogbert continues into the phone, "No, it's not awkward, but thanks for asking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #old computer, #give to school, #hard drive, #tax accounting, #night mare, #school playground, #old refrigerator, #better idea

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Dilbert is standing in the boss's office. Dilbert says, "How do I get rid of my old computer?" The boss says, "Why don't you give it to a school?" Dilbert says, "Well, it would take me a week to find someone to take it." Dilbert continues, "The hard drive is broken and it has no software." Dilbert says, "And it would cause a tax accounting nightmare." The boss says, "Maybe you could leave it on the school playground at night." The boss continues, "That's what I did with my old refrigerator." Dilbert is standing by the playground swings, putting his computer on top of a refrigerator. Dilbert, standing by Dogbert, says, "What I hate most is that I didn't have a better idea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #mentors, #drive steak through heart, #business

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Boss: Asok, thanks to my mentoring, someday you will be just like me. Asok: Gaaa!!! Someone please drive a stake through my heart! Hurry! Boss: Apparently I don't know what mentoring is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #work ethic, #defraying disk drive, #compiling code

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Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm in the middle of defragging my disk drive. When that's done, my computer will be compiling code for a few hours. Dilbert: How's work? Wally: I hear bad things about it.

Boss Finds A Thumb Drive

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Boss Finds A Thumb Drive  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #infection, #malware, #obliviousness, #virus, #hacker, #hacking

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Boss: I found a thumb drive on the sidewalk. It must be my lucky day. It's like free money! Dilbert: Can free money infect our network, too? Boss: You worry too much. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be selling all of my company stock.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commerce, #competition (psychology), #hate new product, #customers, #fake revenue projections, #engineer, #stronger company, #engineering

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Dilbert: If consumers hate our new product, we will probably go out of business. If they love our new product, a stronger company will enter the space and drive us out of business. CEO: Tell the engineer to stop making me sad. Boss: I have some fake revenue projections to cheer you up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont know, #flashdrive, #gadgets, #hand, #illness, #where its been, #data

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Coworker: I put the data on a Flash drive for you. Dilbert: Get that thing away from me. I don't know where it's been. Coworker: I hope you mean the Flash drive and not my hand. Dilbert: I did. But you raise a good point about the hand.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #car, #dating, #eyes, #lucky, #relationships

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever think how lucky people are that their eyes are located on their heads?" Dogbert continues, "Suppose your eyes were on your ankles; you wouldn't be able to drive a car." Dilbert leaves. Dogbert continues, "Without cars, dating would be impossible. No dating, then no marriage. Soon the species would be extinct."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #junk mail, #mail, #condo, #sales, #jeep cherokee, #emerald

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Dilbert reads a piece of mail and says, "Wow! And I thought this was just more junk mail!" Dilbert sits in his chair and says to Dogbert, "All I have to do is drive two hours and listen to their condo sales pitch. I'm GUARANTEED to win a Jeep Cherokee or a valuable mock emerald." Dogbert responds, "That emerald will go pretty well with your mock brain."