Eliminate Dept Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

86 Results for Eliminate Dept

View 31 - 40 results for eliminate dept comic strips. Discover the best "Eliminate Dept" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #3d rendering, #career, #computing needs, #finance dept

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert is seated at a table with Dilbert. Ratbert says, "The finance department has analyzed your computing needs and decided to give you a 286 PC." Ratbert continues, "That should be sufficient for the 3D-rendering you need to do." Ratbert continues, "Besides, how many times are you going to do 3D-rendering in your career?" Dilbert responds, "Once, if I hurry."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #standardize, #one type computer, #mac user, #deviant users, #macintosh, #unix, #holy wars, #gustav

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert, the Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "I recommend standardizing on one type of computer for the office." Ratbert continues, "We must identify and eliminate the deviant users of Macintosh, Unix and . . . God help us . . . OS/2 Warp." Dilbert glares at him. The caption reads, "The Holy Wars Begin." Ratbert interrogates a man being held by police. Ratbert says, "Don't lie to me, Gustav! You're a stinkin' Mac user!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #self esteem, #improve, #job, #opening, #procurement dept, #hit people, #with tail, #prevent desired computers, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur sits on Dilbert's couch with his head down. Dilbert tells him, "Bob, your self-esteem might improve if you got a job." Bob replies, "As what?" Dilbert says, "There's an opening in our procurement department. You'd be perfect." Bob asks, "What does procurement do?" Dilbert replies, "Their job is to prevent us from getting the computers we want." Bob asks, "Can I hit people with my tail?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting dept, #expense report, #soul, #soul check, #tak a seat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches a window labeled "Soul Check" where a clerk who looks like a demon is standing. He says to the clerk behind the window, "If it's okay, I'll hold onto my soul while I visit the accounting department." Dilbert is in the accounting department, talking to another demonlike clerk seated at a desk. Dilbert says, "I came to answer your questions about my expense report." The clerk replies, "Take a seat." Dilbert notices there are no seats, but only sharp, pointed stalagmites and stalactites in the cavelike room. He thinks to himself, "I don't like the way this is starting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new company slogan, #act like you own the comapny, #fired marketing dept, #security escort

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert are sitting at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm happy to report that I have embraced the new company slogan 'Act like you own the company.'" Wally continues, "This morning I fired the marketing department and had security escort them out." The Boss replies, "That's not exactly what we had in mind . . ." As a security guard taps on the Boss's shoulder, Wally says, "Fortunately I anticipated your reaction."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help shipping dept, #fiscal year, #no inventory

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice and Dilbert stand next to the coffee machine. The Boss says, "I need everybody to help in the shipping department today." The Boss continues, "Every product that ships before the end of the month gets counted as revenue for the fiscal year. Unfortunately, we don't have inventory." Dilbert, Alice and Wally each have an open box in front of them. The Boss continues, "So we'll ship whatever is lying around, book it as revenue and sort it out later." Wally reaches into his mouth and says, "This one's getting gum."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hit market window, #ride market research, #technical testing, #overhead, #like a bird, #hit window

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, the Boss and Dilbert stand at a conference table looking at a document. The Boss says, "We'll have to eliminate a few steps in order to hit the market window." The Boss continues, "I think we can get rid of market research and technical testing. They're basically 'overhead.'" The Boss writes on the chart and says, "Gone! Now we'll hit the window!" Dilbert says, ". . . Like a bird."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing dept., #cubicle walls, #sneak down, #experimnet, #forgets

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice asks Dilbert, "What are you doing in the marketing department?" Dilbert pulls a cubicle wall and replies, "It's an experiment." Dilbert explains, "I sneak down here once a week and move this guy's cubicle wall in by a quarter-inch." A man with a briefcase tries to squeeze into a tiny cubicle. Alice asks, "What's this experiment going to prove?" Dilbert replies, "I forget. It's been a long time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #critical, #dept phone list, #list alphabetically, #sort phone number

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the secretary's desk and says, "Carol, I don't mean to be critical about the department phone list you put together . . ." Dilbert continues, "But it's traditional to list people alphabetically, not sorted by phone number." Dilbert asks, "Because what possible use . . .?" Carol's telephone rings. She looks at the display and says, "Incoming call from . . . Let's see . . . It's Wally . . . I can ignore it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #information technology dept, #jordan the preventer, #request for service, #resource shortages, #reverse psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her computer, behind her is Mordac. He says, "I am Mordac the Preventer, your liason from the information technology department." Mordac says, "I come with tales of resource shortages. Your request for our services has been denied." Alice stands up and is much taller than Mordac. She says, "I didn't request any of your services." Mordac replies, "Don't try your reverse psychology on me."