Search Results for "email records"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #brokerage firm, #discount, #lowest commissions, #customers, #keeping records

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert are sitting on a sofa. Dilbert is snacking on a bag of chips. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start up a discount brokerage firm." Dilbert chews as Dogbert says, "I'll offer my lowest commissions to customers who don't mind bad advice and verbal abuse." Dogbert says, "Did I mention that I won't be keeping any records?" Dilbert says, "You didn't need to."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2001's comic on:


Tags #email, #fax, #letter, #copy of message, #voice mail

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I just sent you an email." The Boss continues, "Here's a copy of my message but I'll just tell you what it says." The Boss concludes, "It says I sent you a voice mail telling you to look for a fax that says I want to talk to you." Alice clenches her teeth.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #boss, #errors, #flatter yourself, #forward to friends, #idiot boss, #spelling, #mass email

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss types, "Trie to be moor prophesional in your commudicashuns." Dilbert and Wally read the email. Dilbert giggles at his computer, "Hee Hee!" Wally says, "Let's forward it to all our friends so they can see what an idiot we work for." Dilbert says, "But you're my only friend." Wally replies, "Don't flatter yourself."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #accounting gimmicks, #accounting records, #destroy records, #illegal, #make confusing, #stockholders

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "Stockholders are worried that our profits are nothing but accounting gimmicks." The Boss responds, "I'm putting you in charge of destroying all of our accounting records." Dilbert says, "That's illegal." The Boss responds, "Oh. Then just make them more confusing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ethical, #accounting records, #massive shortsell, #wrong one

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "My boss ordered me to make our accounting records more confusing. Is that ethical?" Dogbert responds, "It's as ethical as the massive short-sell I'm going to place in the next ten seconds." Dilbert says, "Maybe you're the wrong one to ask." Dogbert yells into his phone, "NOW! NOW!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #accounting records, #congress, #erasing memories, #impenetrable complications, #management, #outside firm, #project team, #hit head, #hammer on head, #knocked on head, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide and says, "As requested, my project team has added impenetrable complications to our accounting records." Dilbert says to The Boss, "And an outside firm is erasing all memories from senior management." The Boss asks, "How do they do that?" Dogbert holds a hammer. He says to a manager with a huge bump on his head, "Okay, you're ready to talk to congress." The injured manager replies, "Thank you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2002's comic on:


Tags #females do hunting, #alice stalks prey, #razor sharp words, #hyenas are laughing, #tears her prey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert observes Alice and records, "The females of the group do all the hunting. The one I call Alice stalks her prey." Alice is angrily typing an email, "Grrrrr." Dogbert continues, "She pounces. Her razor-sharp words tear the prey to shreds." In another cubicle, a coworker has been burnt and is emitting smoke. Other coworkers lean over the cubicle wall and laugh. Dogbert thinks, "The results are gruesome. Only the hyenas are laughing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #ted, #forward to ted, #email, #solved problems, #project, #being rude, #remove from project

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ted is being rude and helpful. Can you ask his boss to remove him from the project? The Boss: I'll forward this to Ted. That should help. Dilbert: I wonder how people solved problems before email.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #safety law, #ceo, #email ceo, #blah blah blah, #negligence, #people die, #products safety

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #defend against lawsuits, #records retention policy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "To defend lawsuits, our records retention policy has been updated to include this..." Bam! The Boss: "What was I talking about?" Wally: "The records retention policy."