Engineer For Week Comic Strips - Page 4
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Dilbert walks by Herman's Hardware Store and thinks, "Oh no . . . I'm being drawn to that hardware store." Dilbert's clothes fly off his body and he says, "The force is ripping my clothes off, but I can resist!!!" Dilbert says to a salesclerk, "I'm only looking for my clothes - I'm not shopping." The clerk replies, "You're not the first naked engineer to use that story."
Dogbert approaches Dilbert sitting at a desk. Dogbert says to the man and woman following him, "This exhibit is the pride of 'Dogbert's Museum of the Strange and Amazing.'" Dogbert continues, "This is an engineer, deep in a computer-induced trance and oblivious to his environment." Dogbert holds out a container of balls and says, "You can bop him in the back of his head with whiffle balls for ten cents a throw." The man gets out his wallet and says, "Gimme a dollar's worth."
Dogbert and Dilbert, who is wearing a backpack and holding a hiking stick, walk past a sign that says, "Clyde Canyon Trail." Dilbert says, "Ah . . . A full week of hiking and exploring." Dilbert and Dogbert arrive at the canyon which is a small hole in the ground. Dilbert stands in the hole and says, "We're gonna be pretty tired of this place by the end of the week."
CEO: I'd like to address the rumor that I padded my resume. In the strictest sense of the word, I am not technically an "engineer" per se. But to put this in perspective, even The Pope hides his browser history. It's no big deal.
The janitor says to Dilbert, who has fallen asleep on his desk, "Hey, mister, wake up!" Dilbert picks his head up and says, "Huh?" The janitor says, "It was all a dream! You're not a dumpy engineer -- you're really a playboy millionaire movie star!!" Dilbert says, "I . . . I am??" The janitor says as he walks away, "I love being the night janitor." Dilbert asks, "Then why do I dress like this?"
Dilbert stands in front of Zimbu the Monkey's desk and says, "Look, Zimbu, you might have learned language skills at the zoo, but it takes more than that to be an engineer." Wally enters and says, "Dilbert, Zimbu, let's hit the cafeteria for morning donuts." Dilbert, Wally and Zimbu sit at a table eating donuts. Dilbert says, "Okay, after ten a.m. it takes more than language skills to be an engineer." Wally says, "Not today -- we have a staff meeting."
Dilbert sits at a table building something. Dogbert asks, "What happened with the robot you were building?" Dilbert replies, "Nobody can make a robot. It's impossible." The garbage man opens a trashcan and sees the remains of a robot. He thinks, "Hmm . . . A perfectly good robot. Probably just needs a neurospectrum field calibration." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "That whole robot project was bad for my ego as an engineer." A robot enters and says, "Hey! Guess who's WAY smarter than you!"
Dilbert, who is wearing a belt with several electronic devices attached to it, says, "Wally, I notice that all you have is a pager and a calculator watch." Wally thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert continues, "That's pathetic compared to my vast array of personal electronics. Do you yield to my technical superiority?" The caption says, "When a male engineer challenges another for dominance of the pack, there is a brief ritualistic battle rarely seen by outsiders." Wally says, "Stay back, I've got a compass!!" Dilbert yells, "Wireless fax!"
Dilbert says to another engineer with electronic devices strapped to his body, "Please don't hurt me, Techno-Bill!" Bill says, "Make your move." Dilbert thinks, "My only chance is to use my cellular phone and modem to dial into his control module and set off all his systems." Techno-Bill says as he presses a button on his cellular phone, "Fool! I have autodialing." Dilbert runs away screaming as the gadgets on his belt ring and beep.
Dilbert stands at the checkout counter. The clerk at the cash register says, "That's $1.89." Dilbert hands him money and says, "Just for simplicity, I'll give you $7.14." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "As an engineer, I feel a professional reponsibility to make things easy for people." The cashier looks confused as he thinks, ". . . Carry the three."