Environmental Issues Comic Strips - Page 4
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79 Results for Environmental Issues
View 31 - 40 results for environmental issues comic strips. Discover the best "Environmental Issues" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 02,
2011
Tags farmers & farm workers, work ethic, manage issues, align org. activities, stakeholder, real work, farm
Transcript
Wally sys, "Should I continue to manage issues?" Wally says, "Or should I align organizational activities with stakeholder expectations?" The Boss says, "Which answer would cause you to do real work?" Wally says, "What is this, a farm?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday July 22,
2007
Tags use old technology, get funded, raise issue, any issues, old technology, works fine, new technology buggy
Transcript
Alice: Our pointy-haired boss is insisting we use old technology because he thinks it will be easier to get it funded. "You should raise that issue at the meeting." "We'll back you up." Dilbert: "Absolutely." The Boss: "Are there any issues?" Asok: "You're making us use old technology just to make your job easier." "Does anyone else think that?" "No." "No." "No." "The old technology works fine." "New technology is too buggy." "What was that?!!" "It's just something we do."
Sunday December 12,
2004
Tags cubicle vampire, happy coowrkers, in search of, talk, work related issues, life drained, gut instinct, you're hire
Transcript
Job interview "What's your biggest weakness." "I'm a cubicle vampire." "I wander the cubicles in search of happy coworkers." "Then I pounce!" "Then you suck their blood?" "That was the old way." "I talk about work-related issues until the life is drained from their bodies." "I'm going to trust my gut instinct on this. You're hired." "Have you met the new hire yet?"
Sunday December 21,
2014
Tags anger, criticism, perfection, psychological disorder, psychological evaluation, perfectionist, warning, not a problem, cognitive dissonance, unrealistic optimism, projection bias, jerk, anger issues
Transcript
Coworker: I should warn you that I'm a perfectionist. Dilbert: I appreciate the warning. Do you have any other psychological problems or just the one? Coworker: I don't think of it as a "problem." Dilbert: I guess that's what makes it so bad. I see a lot of other psychological problems in your writing. Cognitive dissonance, unrealistic optimism, and some projection bias. But I can see why you think your perfectionism is the worst part. Coworker: You're a jerk. Dilbert: ...and here come the anger issues.
Monday December 07,
2015
Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues
Tags technology, future, death, prediction, health, reaction, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.
Tuesday May 18,
2021
Make Us Look Good
Tags business, managers & supervisors, press release, company, support, social, issues, complaining, awesome, research, appearances
Transcript
ceo: write a press release saying our company supports whatever social issues people are griping about lately. tina: does it matter which issues i pick? ceo: nah. just make us look awesome. tina: should i research the issues first? ceo: are you trying to not get the point?
Friday April 12,
1991
Tags Dilbert, broken, safety, seal, pills, medical, issues
Transcript
Dilbert stands in the bathroom looking in the medicine cabinet. He has a headache. Dilbert holds a bottle and reads a label that says, "Do not use if seal is broken." Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . How are you supposed to get the pills out?"
Thursday August 05,
1993
Tags Dilbert, ratbert, computer, natural disasters
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "You know, as a rat I'm far more likely to survive a major environmental calamity." Ratbert continues, "And there's no shortage of potential disasters - you've got global warming, ozone depletion, air pollution . . ." Ratbert asks, "Can I try on one of your shirts?" Dilbert looks angry.
Friday March 04,
1994
Tags voting, opposite positions, cancel out, republican, dogs don't vote, democrat
Transcript
Dilbert: "Do you remember last election day...and how you convinced me to not vote?" "You argued that since we disagreed on all issues, we could both stay home and the outcome would be the same as if we both voted." "Dogs can't vote!" Dogbert: "Well, not directly."
Tuesday May 02,
1995
Tags dogberts talk radio, smartest creature, dolts, taking calls, understand complex, crossfire
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a radio DJ booth wearing earphones and speaking into a microphone. He says, "I'm the smartest creature in the universe and you are all dolts." Dogbert continues, "Today I'm taking calls from people who think they understand complex issues because they watch 'Crossfire' on CNN." A caller says, ". . . So why not put all poor people in orphanages?" With his paw on the control panel, Dogbert says, "Put your head up to the speaker, Bob."


