Favorite Stories Comic Strips - Page 4
63 Results for Favorite Stories
View 31 - 40 results for favorite stories comic strips. Discover the best "Favorite Stories" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 26, 1996's comic on:
Tags #business language, #competetive, #salary increase goodbye, #core business, #lost, #empowered, #unimportant deciosns, #reengineering, #essential, #people person, #canibal, #hire trained people, #market driven, #balme cutsomers, #value employee input, #hour, #important
Dogbert sits at a desk. The panel is titled "Business Language Explained." Someone says, "We have to be more competitive." Dilbert and Wally wear barrels instead of clothing. Wally says, "Nice barrel." Dilbert replies, "This old thing?" The caption says, "Meaning: Say goodbye to salary increases." Someone says, "We must focus on our core business." The Boss feels his head and says, "Hello." The caption says, "Meaning: We can't find our butts with both hands." Someone says, "You are empowered." Alice sits at her desk wearing a crown and saying, "I proclaim this to be 'Green Ink Day.'" The caption says, "Meaning: You're the monarch of unimportant decisions." Someone says, "We're reengineering your function." A man and a horse are kicked out an office window. The caption says, "Meaning: Adios, Tonto, and the horse you rode in on." Someone says, "Training is essential." A man at a desk asks, "You were a cannibal?" A man wearing a grass skirt and a bone in his hair replies, "I'm a people person." The caption says, "Meaning: We're trying to hire some trained people." Someone says, "We're market driven." A woman doing research asks a man, "What's your favorite odor?" The caption says, "Meaning: We blame customers for our lack of innovation." Someone says, "We value employee input." Dilbert tells the Boss, "Thanks for listening." The Boss laughs hysterically. The caption says, "Meaning: We think humor is important."
Share June 23, 1999's comic on:
Asok stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "They're transfering me to "Quality Assurance," Wally." As Asok gets dragged away by two people he says, "But I'll be back, no matter how long it takes, or how hard! Just stay alive!!" Wally types at his computer and thinks, "Wow. There must be a million sites about wiener dogs."
Share October 30, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert is standing in front of Carol the Secretary's desk. She says to him, "My son is flunking all his classes. I'm hoping he can get a job involving computers." Dilbert asks, "Carrying them?" Back home, at the end of the day, Dilbert confesses to Dogbert, "People don't like it when you fill in the blanks in their stories."
Share August 04, 2003's comic on:
"Tina, we need some customer success stories for the web site." "The closest things we have are these complaint letters. Just change a few words." "Change 'kick' to 'kiss' and this one is done, albeit disturbingly."
Share September 10, 2004's comic on:
"Uh-oh. It's a gray area social situation." "Do I know this guy well enough to say hi, or do I look away?" "So I went with an ambiguous tight-lipped smile that could be confused with a stomach ache." "Your stories suck."
Share October 28, 2005's comic on:
Then I was visited by the Specter of Unpaid Overtime. He hit me with his rake because he's trying to become a grim reaper. "Hee hee!!" "I just realized that I only enjoy your stories when they involve you getting hit by a rake." "That only happened once." "I plan to tell the gardener that you insulted his wife."
Share August 11, 2006's comic on:
"You know what's funny? I'm getting paid to consult, but you're the smartest and most experienced person in the room." "That must burn you like the heat of a thousand suns." "That's my favorite sound!" TWEEEET
Share March 27, 2008's comic on:
My cable system wasn't working last night. I didn't have TV or internet. Dilbert: So I stared at the wall until it was time for bed. I considered carving a canoe out of a tree trunk, but it seemed like a lot of work. Woman: Check!"
Share June 11, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: Carefully choose your words when talking about the company's future. For example, avoid comparisons to Abe Lincoln at Ford's Theatre, 'Circling the drain,' and anything involving flies."And never, ever refer to the company as any kind of sandwich you wouldn't want to eat." CEO: That's my favorite one!"
Share December 23, 2008's comic on:
Topper Returns Dilbert says, "I dreamed I was wearing a goat costume." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I donated all of my organs to sick people. Now I use my hollow torso like a backpack." "Dilbert says, "And I tried to go on a date." Topper says, "See my zipper? I took in a family of squirrels!"