Female Cops Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

50 Results for Female Cops

View 31 - 40 results for female cops comic strips. Discover the best "Female Cops" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asked to clone, #clone, #no soul, #pointy hired boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and a female coworker are eating lunch. Dilbert says, "Our pointy- haired boss asked me to clone him." The coworker asks, "What if his clone has no soul?" Dilbert and Wally both ask, "If?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illegal to clone humans, #frame clone, #for crime, #same thing to me, #immoral

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "Yes, the technology to clone you exists, but it's illegal to clone humans." The Boss responds, "If the cops find out, we can frame my clone for the crime." Dilbert replies, "That is so wrong." The Boss responds, "Why? He'd do the same thing to me!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #circuit design, #mention, #didnt, #psychic, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is eating lunch with a female coworker. The coworker says, "Then I noticed that the circuit design looked like a bug. I was going to mention it but then I didn't." Dilbert exclaims, "I'm psychic!" Dilbert continues, "Unless you're saying out loud every thought that crosses your mind." The coworker gives the thumbs up and says, "It's called conversation."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting called, #discuss issues, #assign tasks, #waste of time, #meetings, #become lifeform, #reproducing human josts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into a meeting and asks, "Who called this meeting?" The male coworker replies, "We thought you did." The coworker continues, "I think we should discuss issues and assign tasks so it's not a complete waste of time." Dilbert responds, "Maybe meetings have become a lifeform capable of calling themselves and thus reproducing via human hosts." The male coworker turns to the female coworker and says, "Good issue." She replies, "Wow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hostile body language, #not allowed, #cross arams, #stare, #move eyebrows, #nice day, #female, #controlling, #unconscious emotions

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina approaches Dilbert with her arms and face stiff. She says, "Someone accused me of having hostile body language." Tina continues, "I'm not allowed to cross my arms or stare or move my eyebrows or frown." Tina walks past and says, "Have a nice day." Dilbert responds, "Too late."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #numbers down, #reorganize dept, #history for compariosn, #fire people, #save money

View Transcript

Transcript

A female employee asks The Boss, "Our numbers are way down. What should we do?" The Boss replies, "Reorganize the department so there's no valid history for comparison." The Boss continues, "Then we'll fire a few people and give ourselves awards for saving money." The employee scrunches up her paper and mutters, "El Diablo."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #face for wrinkles, #face is killing me, #inject deadly poison, #botox, #dermal fillers, #botchulism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. A female coworker approaches and asks, "Do you think I should inject a deadly poison in my face to hide wrinkles?" Dilbert responds, "It's only fair that you poison your face, because your face is killing me. Hee Hee Hee!" The coworker says, "The correct answer is 'You don't need to.'" Dilbert replies, "Was your mother a shar-pei?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee meail, #monitor, #recently estranged lovers, #curse words, #job title

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert is sitting at his computer. He says to The Boss, "I can monitor all employee e-mail from here." Catbert continues, "I'm looking for recently estranged lovers so I can promote one of them over the other." A man holds up a piece of paper and asks a female coworker, "Why is my new job title a long string of curse words?" The woman responds, "I win."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cat show, #clothing, #date, #good listener, #mindless replica, #uninteresting stories

View Transcript

Transcript

A female coworker asks Dilbert, "Would it be okay if I asked your mindless replica for a date?" The coworker continues, "I'm full of uninteresting stories and I need a guy who's a good listener." The coworker and the Visibuddy are at dinner. The coworker says, "Now I'll describe the clothing of each person at the cat show." The Visibuddy hits himself in the head with a fork, "Thunk!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #send threatening emails, #train new guy, #easily downsize later, #boss threatens alice, #job security, #male, #female, #training, #alices bad advice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."