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Share April 05, 2012's comic on:
Dogbert: Want some free software? Boss: What's it do? Dogbert: All it does is beg you for upgrades. And if you upgrade, then it begs you to upgrade again and so on. And it makes all of you other software run slow. Boss: And it's free?
Share May 03, 2012's comic on:
Customer: Your free app is stealing my personal information. I'd like to lodge a complaint. Dogbert: Buy our monthly subscription package or I'll send your browser history to your contacts. Dilbert: How's your app going? Dogbert: It practically sells itself.
Share May 15, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.
Share July 17, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer and Dogbert watches him. Dilbert says, "My computer simulation will determine, once and for all, the real reason dinosaurs became extinct." Dilbert continues, "Wait . . . According to this, it would be almost impossible for ALL dinosaurs to be extinct." Dogbert says, "Then they must just be . . ." Dogbert and Dilbert look at each other and say simultaneously, ". . . Hiding." A voice behind them says, "Yeah? Just try to find us." Another voice says, "Shhhh!"
Share December 25, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert walks down the sidewalk and sees a sign on a building that says, "Free Hypnosis Lessons!" Dilbert thinks, "Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "There's probably some catch, but it's worth a look." Dilbert walks away from the building wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and holding his arms out in front of him. Dilbert says, ". . . A wonderful class . . . I must tell my friends."
Share April 03, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm sending you to Elbonia to open our new subsidiary." Dilbert asks, "Elbonia?" Dilbert continues, "But they only renounced communism last week!! They don't understand capitalism or economics. They have no appreciation of the real world." As he packs his suitcase Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . He thinks they'll make fine engineers."
Share June 15, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert says to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "I'm dissolving the cult. You two are free to do as you please." Bob and Dawn dance and yell, "We're free! We're free!" Dogbert says, "Boy . . . You don't know ugly 'til you've seen dinosaurs dance."
Share October 16, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert reads a letter and says, "What a stupid waste of my valuable time." Dilbert says, "It's your civic duty. It's the small dues you pay for living in a just and free society." Dogbert replies, "Big whoopee." Dilbert says, "And you get to play God with other people's lives." Dogbert says, "Well, they should say that in the letter."
Share December 19, 1990's comic on:
A man at TBC says, "We got a complaint letter from a dog, chief." The man continues, "He claims to represent fifty million dogs who oppose the 'obscene' lyrics of our opera broadcasts." A man at a desk says, "Obscene? They don't even sing real words." The man replies, "Apparently it's Italian, sir."
Share December 20, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert writes, "Dear Senator, I demand a constitutional amendment banning the obscene and anti-American lyrics in opera." Dilbert asks, "What makes you think a senator will care about an issue like that?" An aide says to a senator, "I think we found another issue to keep us from working on real problems." The senator reaches for the letter and says, "Ooh-ooh!"