Search Results for "finish"
Share September 11, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert walks through the house wearing an apron and thinking, "The water for my spaghetti should be boiling by now." Ratbert stands in the pot of water on the stove. Ratbert says to Dilbert, "Oops! You caught me. I usually finish hot tubbing before you get back." Dogbert sits on the hassock and Dilbert sits on the floor leaning against the hassock. Dogbert says, "It raises a big question mark about the capers." Dilbert asks, "Capers?"
Share August 05, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: Here's the final design for Project 'Zebra'. I worked day and night for weeks to finish it on time. The Boss: I canceled that project a month ago, I meat to tell you. Dilbert: In some countries it would be legal to kill you with this binder, The Boss: Thats why I don't travel.
Share August 25, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: I created you cucumber mutants to assist me in my bid for world domination! Bulletin I interrupt this strip because the whole giant cucumber theme isn't as fun as I thought it would be. lets go directly to the big finish. scott DOGBERT: Then Waldo grabbed the "salad shooter" there were peels everywhere! Dilbert: sounds like quite a pickle.
Share February 01, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert stands on an air traffic control panel. He says to the Boss, "Thanks to my leadership, the new air traffic control system is designed on time and under budget." Dogbert continues, "I had to cut a few corners. This big radar-looking thing is a wall clock. And most of the buttons are glued on." The Boss says, "It looks like it might be um . . . dangerous." Dogbert says angrily, "Great . . . I finish early and what do I get: 'feature creep.'"
Share November 23, 1996's comic on:
Wally looks at a pack of cigarettes and tells Dilbert, "I never noticed this warning label on my cigarettes before." Wally reads, "If this product doesn't kill you right away, the executives of our company will drive over to your house and finish the job. We know where you live, Wally. Quit now!" The Boss asks Dilbert, "Why am I paying for a color printer?" Dilbert replies, "It's also an air freshener if you know how to use it."
Share August 15, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his computer. The boss hands him a piece of paper. "I'll need this vital information by one o'clock." Dilbert thinks, "If I do a shoddy job, I can finish this and still make it to lunch!" Dilbert eats lunch with Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "Today I traded my work ethic for a banana." Wally says, "I ate that banana years ago."
Share April 07, 1996's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Go home, Dilbert. Relax! You're working too hard!" Dilbert sits at his desk and says, "You told me to finish this by tomorrow. You said it's urgent." The Boss waves his arms and says, "Relax! Go home! Shoo!" The caption says, "Suddenly Dilbert is sucked into the 'Boss Zone' where time and logic do not apply." Dilbert's head disappears into a hole in time. Dilbert floats by the Boss's head and asks, "How can I relax AND do urgent work at the same time?" The Boss replies, "Work smarter, not harder." Dilbert grabs his head and screams. The caption says, "Mercifully, the angel of cynicism appears." Dogbert flies up to Dilbert and says, "Slap something together in the morning. He won't look at it anyway." The caption says, "The inspirational moral . . ." Dilbert puts his coat on and leaves the office. He sings, "Freedom's just another word for not caring about the quality of your work!"
Share September 28, 1997's comic on:
The Boss sits at his desk and hands a piece of paper to Alice. The Boss says, "Get my approval at each phase. Finish in one month." Alice looks at the paper and says, "Let's see.. You're on vacation next week. Then you're traveling, then there's an executive retreat..." Alice continues while the Boss appears to listen, "It takes three weeks to get on your calendar... and the project has six phases..." Alice says, "What we have here is guaranteed failure." Alice says, "You've left nothing to chance on this one." Alice says, "I mean, normally there's a bit of uncertainty, but you've..oh." Alice says, "You've slipped into the "Boss Zone" where you can't see or hear employee input." The Boss is a zombie and Alice waves her hand in front of his eyes to no effect. The Boss says to Carol, his secretary, "It's weird. I lost ten minutes, and when I woke up, my doughnuts were gone." A doughnut is stuck on each of The Boss's tufts of hair.
Share January 28, 1999's comic on:
Alice stands at Carol's desk. Alice hair is a mess and she holds a report. Alice says, "I stayed awake for two days straight to finish this R.F.Q. by the deadline." Alice says, "But it will all be for nothing if you don't send it out today." Alice hands the folder to Carol. Carol puts the folder in the middle of a huge pile of papers on her desk and says, "I'll put it in the middle of the stack so I won't forget."
Share March 19, 1999's comic on:
The Boss comes into Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, did you finish the analysis for tomorrow?" Wally answers, "No." Wally continues, "I'm waiting until the last minute so you won't have time to ask for unnecessary changes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "I'm already one step ahead of him- the analysis itself is unnecessary."