Fit Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

65 Results for Fit

View 31 - 40 results for fit comic strips. Discover the best "Fit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cheetah, #drew lines, #feel bad, #mock you, #morale of the story, #opinions mattered, #pure adrenaline, #shrunk everything, #sprang into action, #totally worthless, #trampoline

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "You're probably wondering how my day was." Dogbert sits on the couch reading a magazine. Dilbert says, "It was terrible . . . Until I did THIS!" Dilbert holds up a diagram. Dilbert sits down and explains, "It all started when I deluded muself into thinking my opinions mattered." Dilbert continues, "I sprang into action like a cheetah on a trampoline!" Dilbert gets up and demonstrates. Dilbert continues, "I drew lines and boxes and arrows for hours. It was pure adrenaline." Dilbert shouts, "Suddenly, trouble struck! It wouldn't fit on one page!!" Dilbert continues, "So I shrunk everything until it was totally unreadable. And it fit!!" Dilbert concludes, "The moral of the story is that you don't have to feel bad just because you're totally worthless." Dogbert says, "I'd mock you but the challenge is gone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project plan requested, #working day and night, #wold chipmunks, #clip art, #never mic sarcasm, #good clip art

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert enters the Boss's office. He says, "Here's my project plan as you requested." Dilbert explains, "Our team is already working day and night on other projects." Dilbert continues, "I assumed we'd give up eating, sleeping and bathing to fit this in." Dilbert continues, "By the second week we'll be starving, delirious and stinking." Dilbert continues, "We'll be like wild, unpredictable animals." Dilbert continues, "Specifically, we'd be like wild chipmunks. None of us are very aggressive." Dilbert points to the proposal and says, "This clip art represents us in week three as a pile of dead chipmunks." Wally asks Dilbert, "Now he wants it in two weeks?" Dilbert says, "Never mix sarcasm with good clip-art."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bred, #work in cubicle, #personal life, #stealing, #good square meal, #square head

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, this is Rex Tangle, our newest employee." Rex is completely square, with flat sides to his head and torso. The Boss says, "Rex was specially bred to work in a cubicle." Wally says, "Looks like he'll fit right in." The Boss says, "Ask him about his personal life." Wally says, "Rex, how's your personal life?" Rex says, "I don't have one. That would be like stealing from the company." A little heart showing love floats above The Boss's head. Wally and Rex walk off. Wally asks, "So, do you eat lunch?" Rex says, "I would enjoy a good square meal." Dilbert and alice are sitting in the company cafeteria eating their lunches. Wally says, "Meet the future." Rex says, "Hello, you round pegs!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #allen, #autograph book, #flat surface, #parents

View Transcript

Transcript

Mister Dogbert, would you autograph my book? Dogbert: Sure, Kid. But I'll need to use your back as aft surface. Dilbert: He's got parents. Dogbert:"Matthew" won't fit , so I'll call him "Allen"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #posterior, #fat ass, #chair, #prnak, #lied boss, #like goldfish, #big charis, #big ass

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands in front of the Boss' desk and says, "My posterior is growing to fit the size of my chair." The Boss asks, "Is that possible?" Alice replies, "Posteriors are like goldfish. They grow to the limit of their environment." The Boss replies, "That's ridiculous. I have the biggest chair. That would mean..." Alice quickly says, "Forget I brought it up. Well, back to work." Wally and Dilbert stand looking over the wall of a cubicle. Alice walks by and Dilbert asks, "Mission report?" Alice replies, "Success." Alice rubs her hands together and says, "The glue on his chair should be set by now." The Boss walks down the hall with his desk chair stuck to him. He thinks, "I guess this is why goldfishes don't use chairs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #proactive, #boring meeting, #fake death, #coffee is posioned, #stiffen, #easier to drag, #pose, #obscene, #spread eagle, #casket, #dispose of body, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits in a metting between Dilbert and Alice. Wally thinks, "I'll have to be proactive to escape this boring meeting." Wally takes a sip from his coffee and thinks, "I'll fake my own death and hope someone drags me into the hallway." Wally says, "Ack!! My coffee is poisoned!" Wally lies on the ground feet in the air. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should drag him into the hallway." Alice says, "No." Alice says, "Let's wait for him to stiffen. Then he'll be easier to drag." Ted says, "We should pose him before he stiffens." Dilbert says, "Something obscene?" Alice says, "Or spread eagle, so he won't fit in a casket." Wally lies on the grouns arms and legs wide with his coffe cup pearched on his face and thinks, "It never pays to be the proactive one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failed ceo, #worth 100 million, #all reverse, #head in glass, #successful engineer, #kind of funny

View Transcript

Transcript

RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #overall startegy, #never ask questiom, #hear the answer

View Transcript

Transcript

How does my project fit into our company's overall strategy? "Beats me. I didn't even know we had a strategy." "Never ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer." "That's why I never say 'How are you?'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #project plan, #won't work, #problem solver

View Transcript

Transcript

Your engineers think my project plan won't work. "I'll assign Wally to your project. He's a perfect fit." "Because he's a problem solver?" "Because he won't work either."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Can you bring me up to speed before we go to the meeting? "No. You can't fit two gallons in a thimble no matter how fast you pour." "Wait a minute...Which one of us is the thimble?"