Flatter Yourself Comic Strips - Page 4
170 Results for Flatter Yourself
View 31 - 40 results for flatter yourself comic strips. Discover the best "Flatter Yourself" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 30, 2011's comic on:
Wally: I can't work for a boss who doesn't trust me to work independently! Boss: Is this a preemptive strike so I won't ask why you didn't turn in a project update? Wally: And more distrust. How do you live with yourself?
Share October 14, 2011's comic on:
Woman: Please stop researching every statement I make. Dilbert: I can't. As an engineer, it is my solemn duty to stamp out ignorance. Woman: That's not a real thing. Dilbert: See for yourself. I just Googled it.
Share October 27, 2011's comic on:
CEO: I will prove our industrial sludge is safe by forcing an intern to drink a glass of it. Voice: That's stupid. We want to see you drink it yourself. CEO: See if you can reach that guy in the second row with a spit take.
Share November 22, 2011's comic on:
Mom, the good news I wanted to tell you is that my boss named me project manager. Mom: Please keep that to yourself. I tell my friends you're a locksmith. Dilbert: You're paying for your own lunch. Waiter: I'm Ed. I'll be your project manager.
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Share January 19, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I expected you to quit after you got your billion-dollar discrimination settlement. Wally: Just because I'm lazy and unscrupulous, why would you assume I'm also a quitter? Dilbert: I... um... Wally: I don't know how you look at yourself in the mirror.
Share January 15, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Out budget for contact employees was eliminated. We'll have to pay you out of the training budget. So instead of doing the job yourself... you'll have to train Dilbert to do the job we're paying you to do. Dilbert: Why don't you just move some of the training budget to the contractor budget? Boss: If we reduce the training budget this year, we'll get less next year. Dilbert: So... you prefer paying two people to do the job of one? Boss: Right. Consultant: How do you stay in business? Boss: Our customers are even dumber than us.
Share April 24, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the mailbox reading an invitation. Dilbert says, "Great! The engineer's ball is black tie this year." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I will be renting a tuxedo for the ball, and I would like it if you could keep any snide comments to yourself." Dogbert says, "Gosh. Even I wouldn't make fun of a guy who would pay sixty-five bucks to wear borrowed pants."
Share July 21, 1989's comic on:
Dawn the Dinosaur points to Dilbert and says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You heard me, Robert. Eat him right this minute!" Bob says, "But . . . but." Dawn crosses her arms and says, "You call yourself a carnivore? Well, at least smite him with your mighty tail!" Bob looks sheepish. Dawn says to Dilbert, "And THIS will teach you not to mess with dinosaurs!" Bob rubs his tail and says, "Cramp . . ."
Share January 01, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm grumpy today, so don't even try to talk to me." Dogbert continues, "And don't try to flatter me or give me chocolate cake to make me feel better." Dilbert says, "And I guess I shouldn't scratch you behind the ears until you have little leg spasms." Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs and says, "Right. None of that."