Flip Phone Comic Strips - Page 4
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Boss: I bought a foreclosed house for $500. I plan to flip it for profit. Dilbert: Did the disclosures have any red flags? Boss: They claim there's a lot of mold and enexploded ordnance. But I don't see how either of those things could have survived the urine from the crack squatters.
Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I got tiny 'PCS' phones for both of us." Dilbert continues, "It's the newest technology! I'll be able to call you at any time, no matter where we are!" The phone sits on the pillow next to Dogbert. As it rings, Dogbert thinks, "Why must all progress start out as something annoying?"
Dilbert walks toward a ringing phone. A voice on the telephone says, "Hello! This is a long-distance phone company with vague promises of unverifiable savings if you switch to us." The voice asks, "Is this an inconvenient time for you?" Dilbert replies, "No." The voice says, "Oh, then we'll call back later."
Dilbert says, "Dogbert, look, I got the first video phone in the city!" Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk as Dilbert sets up the video phone. Dilbert says, "Now we wait for somebody else to buy a compatible video phone and call us." Dogbert says, "The amazing thing is that society couldn't advance without people like you." Dilbert says, "I think I saw something."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk watching the video phone. Dilbert says, "This video phone will be a big help for dating." Dilbert continues, "This way I can weed out the unattractive prospects in seconds." Dogbert asks, "Isn't there a camera on your end too?" Dilbert replies, "No system is perfect."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Nobody ever calls on my new video phone so I routed the television signal to it." Dilbert continues, "Now I can pretend that celebrities are calling me all day." Dilbert says as he walks away, "Ooh . . . Dolly Parton is calling. I'll bet it's for me again."
Dogbert and a boy sit in a car with a "Student Driver" sign on the roof. Dogbert says, "With your right hand, insert a CD into the stereo . . . Good." Dogbert continues, "Now signal left! Answer the car phone! Defrost the rear window! Honk is you love fishing!" The student panics and tosses the phone into the air. Dogbert says, "Fortunately, we're only in the driving simulator." The car is sitting in a dealership showroom. A salesman approaches the car and asks, "Do you boys want to take it for a test drive?"
Wally, Ted and Alice confront Dilbert. Alice says, "We heard you killed Floyd, our unbearable co-worker, yesterday." Dilbert replies, "No. I was there, but he choked on his own bile." Alice asks, "What did you do - perform First Aid? Call an ambulance?" Dilbert replies, "I don't know First Aid." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Can I use your phone?"
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser wearing a belt with several pieces of electronic equipment attached to it. Dilbert says, "Let's see . . . I've got my cellular phone, my pager, palm computer, personal organizer, wireless modem . . ." Dilbert looks in the mirror and continues, "Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty much the envy of engineers everywhere . . . Looking good . . . Looking good . . ." Dogbert says, "Words escape me . . ." Dilbert takes something out of his belt and says, "Here, I'll fire up the old thesaurus."
Dilbert says to another engineer with electronic devices strapped to his body, "Please don't hurt me, Techno-Bill!" Bill says, "Make your move." Dilbert thinks, "My only chance is to use my cellular phone and modem to dial into his control module and set off all his systems." Techno-Bill says as he presses a button on his cellular phone, "Fool! I have autodialing." Dilbert runs away screaming as the gadgets on his belt ring and beep.