For Laziness Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

182 Results for For Laziness

View 31 - 40 results for for laziness comic strips. Discover the best "For Laziness" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #optimism, #vice presdient, #unoccupied room, #cell phone, #finish soon, #nap in cubilce, #get work done, #run errands, #optimism like disappointement, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Our meeting room is being used by a vice president." The Boss says, "I need all of you to search for an unoccupied room. Call my cell when you find one." The Boss says, "I'll stay here in case they finish soon." Dilbert says, "Where are you going to look?" Wally says, "I'm going to take a nap in my cubicle and hope the problem takes care of itself." Dilbert says, "Good idea. I'll go get some work done." Alice says, "Perfect time to run some errands." The Boss says, "Optimism is a lot like disappointment."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #lying, #work ethic, #wasting time options, #two options, #truth or lie, #pin blame, #faster to hear lie, #document is perfect, #assign balme, #later say misinterpreted

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Dilbert, your boss asked me to get your input on this." Dilbert says, "Absolutely, Ruth." Dilbert says, "We have two options for wasting our time here." Dilbert says, "Option one: I could tell you all of the things you should change, and you could ignore me as usual." Dilbert says, "Option two: I could lie, and tell you that everything is perfect." Woman says, "I prefer the lie. That way I can pin some blame on you if things go bad." Dilbert says, "Excellent choice. It's faster, and I can later say I was misinterpreted." Dilbert says, "Okay then, I declare that your document is perfect, under a certain set of assumptions that I won't list." The Boss says, "Did you help Ruth?" Dilbert says, "I'll say yes, but it's sort of a gray area."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #center balanced, #considered an earring, #died getting haircut, #jewelry, #laziness, #normal problems, #sleeping in chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I considered getting an earring to make myself more fascinating." Wally says, "But I spend a lot of time sleeping in my chair, so I need my head to be center balanced." Dilbert says, "You don't have normal problems." Wally says, "I almost died getting my hair cut."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clear strategy, #fixing, #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #leader listens, #managers & supervisors, #overworked, #resources, #underlings, #underpiad, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: A good leader listens to his underlings. Alice: Fine. I've overworked and underpaid. I hate my co-workers, I don't have the resources to do my job, and we have no clear strategy. Boss: No wonder leaders listen. It's a lot easier than fixing all of that stuff.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #first draft, #blah blah blah, #worthless

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Let me know if you have any changes to my first draft. Coworker: This literally says the words "blah, blah, blah." Are you lazy? Wally: No, I'm worthless. Lazy would have been one "blah."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #laziness, #training class, #training expenses, #vendor, #permission, #proactive, #alleged class, #truts, #aggressiveness, #uselessness

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I accomplished nothing this week because I was in a training class. Boss: I didn't approve any training expenses. Wally: A vendor paid for it. Boss: You didn't ask for permission. Wally: I'm proactive and empowered. Boss: And what was the name of this alleged class? Wally: Advanced scripting structure for internetwork optimization of SQL databases. Boss: That doesn't sound real. Wally: I can't do my job if you don't trust me! Do you like how I combined aggressiveness with my baseline level of uselessness? I have a good feeling about this. Dilbert: You might need more aggressiveness.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #laziness, #insuffcemt light, #interpret, #accomplishments, #project team, #buzzwords, #duplicates, #harvesting organs, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, this is my brother, Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light. I asked him to interpret your accomplishments for this quarter. Phil You have 25 alleged accomplishments. Eight of these accomplishments involved simply being on a project team that did something. Nine accomplishments involved fixing problems you created. Five of these are just buzzwords that don't mean anything. And three are duplicates that you reworded to appear different. I'd recommend harvesting his organs, but those probably don't work either. Wally: That's just mean.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #laziness, #passive job seeker, #rope, #sleeping, #tied up, #coffee cup, #chair, #bound

View Transcript

Transcript

Recruiters Recruiter 1: Hey, is that a passive job seeker? Wally: ZZZZZZ. Recruiter 2: Back off! I saw him first. This rope hols my place until he wakes up. Wally: ZZZZZZ. I will pay you a thousand dollars to drop a long straw in this cup.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #10 thousand hours, #genetic makeup, #laziness, #million hours, #become an expert

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: People used to think it took 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert. But now people think the amount of practice you need depends on your genetic makeup. So you'd be good to go after a million or so hours. Wally: See why I don't bother?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illness, #laziness, #sitting disease, #sit all day, #bad health, #safety more eimportant, #drink coffee instead

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.