Freaking Genius Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

63 Results for Freaking Genius

View 31 - 40 results for freaking genius comic strips. Discover the best "Freaking Genius" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok The Stock Picking Genius

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok The Stock Picking Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #day trader, #greed, #investing, #luck, #money, #stock market, #stocks

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I bought my first stock and it went up five percent in one week!That means I'm a stock-picking genius. I plan to max out all of my credit cards and become a day-trader. Dilbert: The total market is up six percent. Asok: That's just luck. It can't do that forever.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #jargon, #misunderstanding, #genius, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your slide deck is okay-ish. But can you make it more aspirational? Dilbert: It's just a software upgrade. Boss: Yes, yes. But I want the audience to feel it. Dilbert: They can feel the handouts. Boss: It's like you're not even trying to understand! Genius is often misunderstood. Dilbert: Do you know what else is misunderstood? Boss: Super-genius?

A One Variable World

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
A One Variable World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #topper, #Dilbert, #genius, #rejection, #variable, #cost

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper: I reject your idea because the costs are high. Dilbert: In a one-variable world, you would be a genius. Topper: Thank you. Dilbert: I meant every word of it.

Extra Dogbert Clone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Extra Dogbert Clone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #marketing, #genius, #problem, #company, #situation, #clone, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

the marketing genius dogbert: my genius alone will not be enough to fix the problems at this company. this looks like a five-dogbert situation. that is why i arranged to clone myself five times. boss: what's the extra clone for? dogbert: that one takes the blame.

Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #train, #tech support, #problem, #reboot, #computer, #problem solving, #genius

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #correspondence, #electronic mail, #genius, #unfinished product, #writing, #hallmark of genius, #unexpected use of time

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bright, #fellow, #mensa, #genuis, #iq, #local, #chapter, #smart, #intelligence, #practical, #application

View Transcript

Transcript

A man with a large head says to Dilbert, "You seem like a bright fellow; have you considered joining Mensa?" Dilbert asks, "Is that the group with genius IQs?" The man replies, "Precisely correct. I'm president of the local chapter." Dilbert asks, "If we're so smart, why do we work here?" The man replies, "Intelligence has much less practical application than you'd think."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #call back, #one hour, #time zone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is walking by the Boss's office. He hears the Boss say, "I'll call you back in one hour, Irene." The Boss says, "You're in a different time zone, so you'll get the call in... um... three hours." Dilbert stops to listen. The Boss's eyes bug out in confusion and he says, "Really? You're three hours ahead? Then that means... whoa!.. you're freaking me out here!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unicornitis, #cell normalizer, #dna sample, #genius garbageman

View Transcript

Transcript

The Garbage man throws garbage into his truck. The garbage man sees Dilbert who is wearing a coat and has a unicorn horn growing out of his forehead. The Grabage Man says, "Looks like someone has a bad case of unicornitis." The Grabage Man says, "I've got a pre-horn sample of your DNA in the truck. I could fix you up with my cell normalizer." Dilbert says, "Why do you have my DNA in your truck?" The Garbage man wears goggles and holds a ray gun. The Grabage Man says, "It's for exactly this sort of situation."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired psychologust, #handle stress, #another engineer, #freaking quack, #outburst from alice

View Transcript

Transcript

At a meeting, the Boss tells the employees: "I hired a psychologist to help you handle stress." Alice says angrily: "We need another engineer not a freakin' quack!!" The Boss turns to the psychologist and asks him: "Is there a pill for that?" The psychologist replies: "I took it."