Search Results for "get promoted"
Share April 21, 1996's comic on:
A man says to Dilbert, "Yo, Dil-man!" Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's Ken from sales." Ken says, "I told our biggest customers how great our next product will be. Now nobody will buy our current product." Ken asks, "When will the new version be available?" Dilbert replies, "In a year or two." Ken looks shocked. Ken says, "Hmm . . . I seem to have single-handedly destroyed an entire product line." Ken continues, "Luckily our biggest competitor is hiring sales people. And I'm betting THEY'LL have brisk sales this year! Commissions galore!" Dilbert thinks, "If there's justice in this world, the idiots will be punished . . ." Dilbert thinks, ". . . Before they get promoted." The Boss tells Dilbert, "Um . . . We need the new version by Tuesday."
Share September 17, 2004's comic on:
Carol: Something's been bugging me. Carol: Ive been an executive assistant for five years. when do I get promoted to executive? Ive got leadership coming out of my ears! The boss: Thats wax.
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Share September 08, 2008's comic on:
Tina says, "Ted got promoted, so I'm collecting money for a cake." Dilbert says, "He'll be grossly overpaid compared to us. Buying him cake will exacerbate the unfairness." Tina says, "He has high cholesterol." Dilbert says, "Here's a dollar."
Share March 18, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "I hired a new poltergeist for our copy machine. Our old one got promoted to the server farm." Dilbert says, "Wouldn't it be better to not have any poltergeists?" The Boss says, "It's a union thing." Tina says, "May I please have my original back?" Poltergeist says, "I can't hear you. Put your face up close."
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Share November 05, 2006's comic on:
"Today I will teach you how to use your incompetence to achieve your goals." "Step 1: Be incompetent. (Also known as 'the easy part.')" "Step 2: Volunteer for the most difficult and important projects" "Step 3: Convince your boss that an enemy within the company is slowing you down." "Step 4: Insist that competent people be pulled off of other projects to help you." "Step 5: Declare yourself the leader of the competent people" "Step 6: Claim credit for the work of the competent people." "Step 7: After you get promoted, fire the competent people to eliminate witnesses."
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Share June 01, 2016's comic on:
Tina: I saw your political opinion on Facebook and now I think you're an awful person. Wally: What did you think about me before? Tina: I didn't think about you before. Wally: Sounds like I got promoted.