Glass Half Empty Comic Strips - Page 4

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236 Results for Glass Half Empty

View 31 - 40 results for glass half empty comic strips. Discover the best "Glass Half Empty" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart the consultant, #invisible robot, #empty box, #train support staff, #customers house, #sensors

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Caption: "Dogbert the consultant" Dogbert stands on a conference table. Dogbert says, "Some customers might complain that the invisible robot they bought from us.." Dogbert says, to Wally and Dilbert, "...is nothing but an empty box.. I will train our support staff to handle those calls." Caption: "Customer's House" A customer talks on the phone in his living room, near an empty cardboard box. He is terrified. The voice on the other end of the phone says, "According to our sensors, he's in your house... and he's watching you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting moth, #wool clothes, #participants, #moth eaten clothes, #empty stomach

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Dilbert walks cursing. His clothing is chewed to bits. Alice also curses. her clothing also has large bites taken out of it. The meeting moth walks with his mouth full and his hands full of cloth. The moth thinks, "A "meeting moth" should never go to a meeting on an empty stomach."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret weapon, #lowered glass ceiling, #marry a rich guy

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The Boss approaches Tina and says, "...so Tina, you shouldn't have..." Tina thinks to herself, "I'm in trouble. Must use secret weapon." Tina begins to cry and scream, "WAAH!! WAAH!! Everybody hates me no matter what I do!!" Alice leans over her cubicle and says, "Thanks, that lowered the glass ceiling about a foot." Tina replies, "I plan to marry a rich guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bare minimum, #porject, #half amount, #fail, #get started

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Dilbert hands the boss a piece of paper and says, "This is the bare minimum budget I need for my project." The boss says, "What could you do with half of this amount?" Dilbert says, "Fail." The boss says, "When can you start?" Dilbert says, "I think I just did."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cloning the boss, #problem with clone, #dna module, #one half horse

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Headline: Cloning The Boss. Dilbert is dressed as a doctor, The Boss is lying on an operation bed. Dilbert says, "There's a problem with your clone." Dilbert continues, "Wally spilled soda on the DNA module. Your clone is one- half horse posterior." Dilbert continues, "And one-half that isn't like you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #glass walled conference room, #main lobby, #fish bowl, #attractive employees, #send opinion, #convene tribunal

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Dilbert says to Carol, "Carol, I need to reserve the glass-walled conference room by the main lobby." Carol replies, "The 'Fish Bowl' is only available to attractive employees. We don't want to scare visitors." Dilbert says, "I want a second opinion." Carol replies, "Very well. I'll convene the tribunal of admin assistants."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #efficient, #glass walled room, #name of case, #too unattractive, #tribunal of admin. assistants, #verdict, #humanity

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Carol says, "The tribunal of Admin Assistants will hear the case of..." Carol continues, "The man who is too unattractive to use the glass-walled conference room versus humanity." Dilbert exclaims, "You put the verdict in the name of the case!" Carol replies, "We're efficient."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tribunal, #admin. assistants, #appeal, #glass walled

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Carol says, "The tribunal of Admin Assistants has reached a decision." Carol continues, "Dilbert is not attractive enough to use the glass-walled conference room near the lobby." Dilbert asks, "Can I appeal?" Carol responds, "Apparently not."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new personlaity, #non standard, #approved corporate personalities, #sycophants glad hander, #sadist, #prima donna, #empty suit, #whining misfit, #spec sheet, #dialoque

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Caption reads: "Catbert, evil H.R. Director." Catbert is sitting behind a desk in a throne-like chair. He tells Dilbert, who is sitting in a very small chair: "We've decided to give you a new personality." Dilbert is surprised: "What! Why?" Catbert explains: "You're current personality is non-standard." He continues: "You must choose one of the approved corporate personalities." Catbert presents the options: "The choices are sycophant, glad-hander, sadist, quantoid, prima donna, empty suit, or whining misfit." Dilbert says: "Empty suit sounds interesting." Catbert says: "Excellent choice. Here's the Spec Sheet." Wally asks Dilbert about the meeting: "How did it go?" Dilbert answers, reading from the Spec Sheet: "Same ol' Same ol'. You got that right!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #empty cubicles, #frightens customres, #adopt cubicle, #decorate, #appear occupied, #phil de cube, #imaginary employee

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "We have too many empty cubicles. It frightens our customers." The Boss continues, "Each of you will adopt an empty cubicle and decorate it to appear occupied." Wally and Dilbert are walking out. Wally says, "My imaginary employee will be a Frenchman named Phil de Cube." Dilbert responds, "Nice."