Goals For Th Eyear Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

75 Results for Goals For Th Eyear

View 31 - 40 results for goals for th eyear comic strips. Discover the best "Goals For Th Eyear" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok's Goal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Goal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags goals, employment, driver, ride share, rideshare, dream, turnover

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Is it important to have goals? Boss: Yes! You need goals to succeed. Asok: Good, because my goal is to become an Uber driver. I quit. What is your goal? Boss: Reducing employee turnover.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags goals, accomplishment, consciousness, death, achievement, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any long-term goals? Wally: Just death. Dilbert: Death isn't a goal. Wally: It's the best kind. This way, I can go out as a winner. With my last breath, I plan to do a fist pump and yell, "I did it!" What's your long-term plan? Dilbert: I plan to use brain imaging technology to map my mind. Then I'll create a digital copy of myself to live forever in a software simulation. Unless I already did. Wally: Give yourself a fist pump, just in case.

Wally Is Born For The Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Born For The Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags legacy, system, laziness, perfect job, goals, ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need to set some goals for you. Wally: My job is to maintain the legacy system. My only goal is to avoid accidentally upgrading it. Boss: And how's that going? Wally: I don't like to brag, but I was born for this job.

Estimate Of Timeline

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Estimate Of Timeline - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, deadline, goals, ultimatum

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How fast can you fix the bug? Dilbert: I won't know until I dig in. Boss: Give me a random guess and I promise I won't hold you to it. Dilbert: Okay, three days. Boss: Now write that into your goals and get it done in three days or else. Dilbert: Why do I keep falling for that?!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antisocial, goals, achievement, aspirations, frustration, reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Wally, do you have goals? Wally: My goal is to be an Olympic pole vaulter. Tina: You don't look... Wally: Sporty? Tina: I was going to say healthy. Wally: That's why Olympic pole vaulting is my goal> I wouldn't need a goal to do something easy. Tina: Are you training for it? Wally: No. Tina: You're living in a fantasy world! You'll never get to the Olympics! I can't sit here and listen to this. Dilbert: Looks like you accomplished your goal. Wally: Thanks for noticing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Wally, goals, employees, accomplishing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Did you achieve your goals this quarter? Wally: I sure did! Best quarter ever! The Boss: Really? I wasn't expecting that. Wally: What kind of manager has no faith in his employees? You need to trust me to do what needs to be done. The Boss: Um, okay, so... Which goals did you accomplish? Wally: You also need to trust your employees when they say they accomplished their goals. The Boss: I think I see where this is going. Wally: I was hoping you wouldn't.

Wally Prefers Systems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Prefers Systems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, office workers, goals, question, answer, system, year

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: what are your goals for the year? wally: i prefer systems over goals. dilbert: okay, what are your systems? wally: none of them involve answering questions.

Alice Is Honest

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Is Honest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, goals, quarter, unrealistic, honest

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: alice, you did not meet your goals this quarter. alice: that's because my goals are totally unrealistic and were created by a.moron. i hope you meant it when you said you want us to be honest with you. boss: i didn't expect you to act on it!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consensus, lost and confused, lateness, doesn't work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There was a consensus in that room that you're not important, so we started without you. we hate you for disrespecting us with your lateness and we expect you'll be lost and confused by th rest of this meeting. Alice: in summary, lateness is one of those things that doesn't work for everyone.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anxiety, pessimism, approve goal, apathy, plan to fire, unimportant projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Did you approve my goals for next year? Boss: Yeah, whatever. Ted: Gaaa! Your apathy about my goals can only mean you to fire me within the next year! Catbert: Ha ha! Now give him unimportant projects. Boss: They all seem that way to me.