Hand Comic Strips - Page 4

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314 Results for Hand

View 31 - 40 results for hand comic strips. Discover the best "Hand" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #bonus, #did well, #hiring freeze, #shrink empire, #hand shaking situation, #hand, #questioning clean

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Wally is sitting at his desk. The Boss approaches from behind with a check in hand. He says, "The company did well so you get a bonus despite the fact you did no work all year." After handing Wally the check, The Boss continues, "I'd fire you but I can't replace you because there's a hiring freeze and I don't want to shrink my empire." The Boss fidgets nervously and says, "This might be a hand-shaking situation but I don't know where your hand has been." Wally continues to stare at his check and brushes The Boss with, "Off you go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #critical, #engineer, #handshake, #head with lies, #new team player, #parinoid, #soft and clammy hand, #undead, #engineering

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The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #grabbed by hand, #my sales meeting, #dressed like god, #huge hand, #guy, #thought it would be funny, #hee hee

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The plane is shown being grabbed by a giant hand. A flight crew member announces, "Folks, please stay in your seats. We've been grabbed by a huge hand." The woman next to Dilbert looks terrified. Dilbert says, "I hope this has nothing to do with how I dressed for my sales meeting at the Vatican." Ratbert is watching television at home. A voice from the television says, "But it turned out to be a guy with a huge hand who said he 'thought it would be funny.'" Ratbert laughs, "Hee hee! Huge hand."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #stalled career, #psychological pressure, #reach stars, #hopeless, #burn your hand

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Asok: "Wally, how do I handle the psychological pressure of a stalled career?" Wally: "Remember that when you reach for the stars, they're too far away, so it's hopeless." Asok: "But sometimes you can reach a star.. can't you?" Wally: "That would burn your hand clean off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #outsourcing, #elbonia, #time difference, #hand off requirements, #work day, #finish code, #pretend we died

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The Boss: "We're outsourcing half of our programming work to Elbonia to take advantage of the time difference." The Boos: "We'll hand off our requirements at the end of our work day and get back the finished code the next morning." Elboninas: "Once again, I have no idea what they want." "Let's pretend we died."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #snob, #business snob, #shake hand, #Dilbert, #buck passer, #cheaper, #regular employee

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The Boss: "I hired a buck-passer." "He's cheaper than a regular employee because he gets other people to do his work." "Could you shake his hand for me, sport? I don't have that kind of time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #invent nanotech stem cells, #point to hand, #almost done, #prnak, #give high five, #crush them, #blame

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Dilbert: "My boss wants me to invent nano-technology stem cells because it sounds good." DOgbert: "Try pointing to your empty hand and saying, 'you can't see them but they're almost done!'" "Then trick him into giving you a high-five and yell, 'you crushed them! Aaag!!!'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #salary, #above midpoint, #sock, #hand, #paycheck, #demonstration, #money

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The Boss says, "Your salary is already above the midpoint for your pay range." The Boss says, "Excuse me while I remove a sock to explain what will happen to your pay going forward." The Boss says, "Let's say the sock is inflation and my hand is your paycheck."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #good hand, #back rub, #sling, #injured, #make me happy, #elbows

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A woman says, "Maybe later you can give me a back rub with your good hand." Dilbert says, "I don't have a good hand. But one of my elbows doesn't hurt too much." The woman says, "I feel like you're not even trying to make me happy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #archaic sayings, #bite the hand, #cost of measuring, #direct deposit, #measuring incorrectly, #rock carving, #software development, #web design, #wise sayings

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The Boss: My management philosophy is 'measure' twice, cut once. Dilbert: That only makes sense in a narrow, and generally archaic, set of conditions. In software development, the item being cut, metaphorically speaking, is often plentiful and inexpensive. In many cases, the cost of measuring incorrectly is low compared to the time wasted doing two measurements before every action. Your philosophy is better suited for rock carving than web design. Do you have any wise sayings that involve churning your own butter, or putting saddles on dinosaurs?" The Boss: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Dilbert: I have direct deposit."