Handle Comic Strips - Page 4
67 Results for Handle
View 31 - 40 results for handle comic strips. Discover the best "Handle" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 25, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his cubicle and looks at his watch. he thinks, "Time to go home. That means..." The Boss shows up and says, "Hi there." Dilbert thinks, "Right on schedule." Dilbert holds up his hand and says, "Wait. Let me guess why you're here." Dilbert says, "You want to discuss a document that's been on your desk for a month." Dilbert says, "It's something that could easily wait until tomorrow." He says, "But you'll insist that I handle it now, because you're a sociopath." The Boss says, "Wrong. I majored in anthropology." The Boss walks away and thinks, "But that was a spookily accurate guess about the document."
Share January 08, 1999's comic on:
The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, I need you to attend a metting with me to handle the technical questions." The boss says, "If the ask me a question, I'll move my lips while you do ventriloquism." The boss is in a meeting. He pretends to speak. Alice says, from behinds a book, "....and that's why your I.P. router in a suppository configuration."
Share November 01, 1999's comic on:
The Boss: Your project is to build a call center to handle customer questions. Keep the costs downy making the working conditions inhumane. Dilbert: My conscience won't allow me to harm innocent employees. The Boss: we won't be paying enough ti hire any innocent employees.
Share December 11, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert says to The Boss, "We don't have enough engineers to handle all the requests for sales support." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Build an online database to log all the requests." Dilbert says to The Boss, "It might look as if I'm staring at you with a mixture of contempt and disbelief, but I'm actually meditating."
Share November 02, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Asok Works in H.R. Catbert says to Asok, "Asok I want you to handle all the harassment complaints." Asok records Wally's complaints. Wally says, "And as I left the room I could feel Alice's eyes checking out my caboose." Asok says, "So... you have psychic powers?" Wally responds, "My eyes are up here, pal."
Share November 27, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Dogbert Airlines. A disheveled customer says to Dogbert, "I've been waiting for 35 hours. Are you sure my flight exists?" Dogbert responds, "According to my computer your flight is delayed by weather." The customer asks, "What kind of weather?" Dogbert responds, "Our planes can't handle direct sunlight."
Share January 05, 2002's comic on:
A disheveled coworker with smoke effusing from his head says to Dilbert and Wally, "Sorry I'm late." The coworker continues, "I left my mission statement paperweight in the sun and it set my cubicle on fire." The coworker continues, "I tried to douse it using my "We are Quality" mug but the handle broke and I got shards."
Share January 12, 2002's comic on:
The manager is slapping a drunk. Dilbert says to her, "Hi. I came to apply for a server job." The manager replies, "Okay. Tell me how you would handle an abusive drunken customer like this guy." Dilbert replies, "Um.. with kindness?" The manager says, "You might want to shield yourself with a tablecloth."
Share September 05, 2003's comic on:
Asok: "Wally, how do I handle the psychological pressure of a stalled career?" Wally: "Remember that when you reach for the stars, they're too far away, so it's hopeless." Asok: "But sometimes you can reach a star.. can't you?" Wally: "That would burn your hand clean off."
Share February 08, 2005's comic on:
The Boss: Can you work well without supervision? Candidate: "Yes! I thrive on vague objectives and a complete lack of recognition for my contribution!" The Boss: "Can you handle criticism?" Candidate: "I'm not too proud to say it excites me!"