Happiness Comic Strips - Page 4

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80 Results for Happiness

View 31 - 40 results for happiness comic strips. Discover the best "Happiness" comics from Dilbert.com.

Doctor Will Operate

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Doctor Will Operate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #happiness, #satisfaction, #aspirations, #psychology

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Doctor: The MRI shows unusual activity in the laziness region of your brain. Normally, I would recommend brain surgery, but your brain also registers an unusually high level of happiness. Wally: So... how do we handle this? Doctor: I'm going to operate on myself to make me more like you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #marriage, #interpretation, #annoying, #soul mate, #perceptive, #psychology, #relationships

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Tina: Someday, I want to get married because studies show that married people are happier. Dilbert: A smarter interpretation is that no one wants to marry an unhappy person. Tina: You're annoying. Dilbert: With any luck, your soul mate won't be perceptive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #office workers, #uncomfortable, #enjoy working, #my job, #suffer, #boss, #unhappy, #psychology

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Boss: It make me uncomfortable when they appear to enjoy working. It feels like I'm not doing my job. Suffer! Same planet, different reality.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #agents, #Dilbert, #drugs, #nutrition, #government

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Dilbert opens his door and two agents wearing dark sunglasses and holding guns show him their identification badges. The agent says, "We're the government. We came to confiscate your so-called 'Happiness Drug.'" As the agent holds his gun to Dilbert's nose, Dilbert says, "It's not a drug! It's just a mixture of fruits and vegetables that makes you feel happy! You can't outlaw good nutrition!" The other agent says, "Hmm . . . I guess that wouldn't make sense, would it?" The agent says, "Ignore him. He's a new guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #calculated, #average, #mouthful, #percent, #salters, #necessarily, #tongue, #crackers, #Food, #salty

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table eating dinner. Dilbert says, "You shouldn't salt your food before tasting it." Dogbert replies, "It's a calculated risk . . ." Dogbert explains, "The average mouthful of food is five percent of the total serving." Dogbert continues, "So timid salters eat five percent of almost every meal with too little salt . . ." Dogbert continues, "Because only one time in a thousand is food too salty to begin with." Dogbert concludes, "Therefore, over a lifetime you experience almost five percent less salt-related happiness than I do." Dilbert replies, "Not necessarily. I usually salt my tongue after the first swallow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #christmas, #obnoxious, #cynical, #idealistic, #simpleton

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the floor in front of the fireplace. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for Christmas, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "The usual: domination of earth, happiness at the expense of others, personal ego gratification." Dogbert asks, "And you?" Dilbert replies, "I want to feel greater love and understanding for other people." Dogbert asks, "Even obnoxious and cynical people?" Dogbert continues, "And people who laugh at you for being an idealistic simpleton?" Dilbert thinks. Dilbert pats Dogbert's head and replies, "Yeah." Dogbert says, "Merry Christmas, Dilbert."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1996's comic on:


Tags #unpaid overtime, #immoral, #quality of life, #designed stockholder value, #human resources, #business

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Catbert sits on his desk. Alice says to him, "The mandatory upaid overtime is immoral. It's destroying the quality of my life." Catbert replies, "Alice, Alice, Alice . . . Companies are designed to maximize stockholder value, not employee happiness." Alice says, "Maybe the head of Human Resources should be a human." Catbert replies, "Privately I refer to myself as the Director of Disgruntled Cat Toys."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #improve moral, #prescribing anti depressants, #unwarranted optimism, #dead end job, #pills, #hr prescribed drugs, #employees happiness

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Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "Human resources is prescribing powerful antidepressants to improve morale." Alice continues, "The label says it may cause 'unwarranted optimism about you dead-end job.'" Wally, "I gotta get me some of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2001's comic on:


Tags #down sized, #laid off, #let go, #thrilled to be fired, #severance package

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The Boss finishes firing an employee and says, "...Effective immediately." The employee clenches his fists in happiness and yells, "YES!" The employee dances on his chair and yells, "Ah-ooga! Woo-hoo!" The Boss looks surprised. The Boss suggests to Catbert, "We can make the severance packages less generous."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #hairball, #stock options, #evil director, #human resources, #bous system, #kindness of management, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: stock options will be replaced with a bonus system. Dilbert: So....now my happiness depends on the kindness of management instead of the gullibility of our investors? Catbert: allow me to respond by hacking a hairball in your direction.