Have View Comic Strips - Page 4

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1000 Results for Have View

View 31 - 40 results for have view comic strips. Discover the best "Have View" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #words have squiggles, #bad grammar, #every sentence, #third grade, #enrollment form

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The boss seats at his computer and says, "Carol, come here! All of my words have squiggles under them!" CArol looks at his computer screen and says, "The software is telling you that every sentence you wrote has bad grammar." Carol says, "Press F1 for help and... it's a third grade enrollment form."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1998's comic on:


Tags #true story, #drowning in work, #build partition, #away from boss

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The caption reads: "Based on a true story." Carol sits in front of a pile of papers on her desk and says, "I'm drowning in work." She continues, "You have to do something." The Boss stands in front of her desk and says, "I could build a partition right here." Carol holds out her arms and says, "How will a partition help?" The Boss replies, "Carol, you shouldn't be afraid to try new things." He continues, "If it doesn't work, we'll try something else." Workment put up a partition in front of Carol's desk, which blocks her view of the Boss' door. Carol calls out over the partition, "Are you over there?" The Boss stands in the door to his office and thinks, "It works!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #mahage, #sadistic game show host, #insane, #didn't work, #rather have performance, #pecked to death, #trained birds

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The Boss says to Alice, "I've decided to manage like a sadistic game show host." The Boss continues, "Because it would be insane if I kept doing what didn't work." The Boss asks Alice, "Would you rather have a performance review or be pecked to death by trained birds?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #disaster recovery plan, #help! help!, #hope to have budget

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Alice says, "Our disaster recovery plan goes something like this..." Alice points to a picture of a man screaming "Help! Help!" Alice continues, "Someday we hope to have a budget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demonstrate, #life to have meaning, #wrong place, #can't do that, #meeting, #presentation, #business

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "I'd like to demonstrate some things we can't do." The coworker responds, "I don't care about things you can't do." Dilbert says, "I know, but it makes a better demonstration this way." The coworker exclaims, "I want my life to have meaning!" Dilbert points out and says, "You came to the wrong place." Dilbert adds, "Can't do that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #have none, #intern, #know how, #semi colons, #skills, #teaching, #tech suport, #useful skills, #cubicle, #education

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Tina pokes her head into Asok's cubicle and says to him: "Asok, can you help me install an ethernet card?" Asok says to Tina: "Tina, I am not your personal tech support." Tina says: "But you know how to do it and I don't." Asok says: "Well...that is true." Tina says to Asok: "Could you carry the PC to my new cubicle? It's too heavy for me." Tina says: "Someday I'll repay you by teaching you about semicolons." Asok says: "How come I have many useful skills and you have none?" Tina answers: "I guess I'm just lucky." Asok carries the computer looking angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #have mail, #twelve years, #glistens, #envelope, #happy, #awed

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Wally and Dilbert are in the mail room. Wally says, "I have mail! I've never had mail in twelve years here." Wally continues, "It's not addressed to me but it was in my box so I'm keeping it." Dilbert asks, "No mail for twelve years?" Wally responds, "If I hold it just right it glistens."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2003's comic on:


Tags #disappointing people, #meeting start late, #answer is misleading, #deadline ignored, #work is shoddy, #empthy, #blocking view of wall

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Dilbert: "Lately, every person I deal with seems to disappoint me." Dilbert: "Every meeting starts late, every answer is misleading, every deadline is ignored, and all work is shoddily done." DIlbert: "I guess what I'm saying is that today I need some empathy." Dogbert: "You are totally blocking my view of the wall."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #backs up, #fake news, #lake view, #potential fire place, #rains, #real estate charlatan, #seasonal skylight, #sweras, #turning bad into good, #well written

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Dogbert the real estate agent "When it rains the sewer backs up and covers the driveway." "Lake view." "Every spring rabid squirrels rip off huge chunks of the roof to look for food." "Seasonal skylight." "The dry brush behind the house is a fire hazard." "Potential, fireplace."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #profits improving, #have raise, #giving raises, #profits will plummet, #oppression, #communism

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"Now that our profits are improving, can I have a raise?" "If I start giving people raises, then profits will plummet and we'll be nowhere." "Does your bonus depend on how effectively you oppress me?" "If you don't like it, try communism."