Health Insurance Comic Strips - Page 4

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224 Results for Health Insurance

View 31 - 40 results for health insurance comic strips. Discover the best "Health Insurance" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr dierctor, life insurance policy, raise blood pressure, dangerous levels, fifty time salary, ceo

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Catbert peers over a wall and says, "Wally, the company bought a life insurance policy on you." Catbert explains, "Our plan is to raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels." Catbert asks, "Did you know that our CEO makes fifty times your salary even though our stock is down?" Wally covers his ears and shouts, "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career talk, boss, office, work you, health deteriorates, obsolete, downsize, plan work fast, ill

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Dilbert stadns in front of the Boss who is sitting at his desk. Dilbert says, "I'd like to talk about my career path." The Boss says, "Okay." The Boss says, "My plan is to work you until your health deteriorates and your skills are obsolete. Then we'll downsize you." Dilbert holds his stomach and says, "I'm ill." The Boss says, "Really? I've never had a plan work this fast before."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, television, budget, education, money, percentage, difference, music, safety, law, studies, piano-related deaths, lawmakers, health risks, watching, scary, shows

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Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A newscaster says, "The budget for education was cut ten million dollars." Dogbert thinks, "Is that a big percentage? Does it make any difference?" The reporter says, "Congress considered a music safety law after studies showed a ten percent increase in piano-related deaths." Dogbert wonders, "How does that compare to other health risks? Should I be concerned?" The newscaster continues, "Lawmakers debated a bill to lower capital gains tax rates . . ." Dogbert thinks, "What do most economists think? Would it stimulate the economy much? Should I care?" The newscaster continues, "A new poll show that many voters have strong opinions on these issues despite the fact that we provide no useful contextual data." Dogbert walks away with his ears standing up. He thinks, "I've got to stop watching scary shows right before bedtime."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogebert the ceo, united charities, honored, company health plan, leadership, free clinics

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Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert sits at desk while lady says, "The 'United Charities' would like you to be chairman this year." Dogbert says, "I'd be honored. Oh, and while you're up, cancel the company health plan." Caption: One week later... Man at podium that reads 'United Charities' presents Dogbert an award. Man says, "Under his leadership, our free clinics have handled TWICE as many people." Dogbert accepts the award and responds, "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags better comoritively, dread, fixed income, health problems, pre meeting meeting, retirement, shrink, wrinkles, complaints

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wally: Im looking forward to retirement. I can't wait! I'll have my tiny fixed income, barley enough to survive! ...and a new health problem almost everyday! Wally: I'll have wrinkles everywhere and I'll actually shrink! HAHA! I'll produce nothing and I'll complain constantly! Dilbert: You're looking forward to a ll that?? WallyL well...compared to working here... The boss: Its time for the pre meeting meeting on employee productivity. Wally and Dilbert: mmm. fixed income ...health problems...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mister catbert, total compensation plan, salary alone, danger, balances out, employee benefits, lower blood pressure, rubbing soft belly, trick, health benefit

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The Boss, Catbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Mister Catbert will explain our new 'total compensation plan' for excellence." Catbert says, "We no longer view compensation in the narrow terms of salary alone." Dilbert, Alice and Wally think, "Danger! Danger!" Catbert continues, "If employee benefits go up, then salaries can go down and it all balances out." Catbert lies on the table and says, "For example, did you know you could lower your blood pressure by rubbing my soft, furry belly?" Alice says, "It might be a trick!" Wally thinks, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Wally rubs Catbert's stomach and Catbert shouts, "Ha ha ha!!! It's a health benefit! Now I'll cut everybody's salary!" Dilbert, Alice and Wally look shocked and their hair and clothing is disheveled. Dilbert says, "I've noticed that the more health benefits I get, the worse I feel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags care about you, improve morale, illegal, health, least possible way

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The boss, standing behind Alice sitting at her computer says, "Alice, I care about you..." The boss adds, "But only enough to improve your morale, not enough to be illegal in any way." The boss continues saying, "So, tell me about you health in the least specific way possible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags low battery indicator, work day and night, health decline, other peoples problems, creep likes

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The feature creep Creep: Is it too late to give our product a low battery indicator? Dilbert: Id have to work night and day for a month! My health would decline and Id miss all my objectives! Creep: I jus realized that other peoples problems make me all warm inside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags training cd, brainwashed, cuborg, insurance, cosmetic surgery, jump off roof, game system

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Asok is half cyborg. He sits on the doctor's table and says, "My training CD went bad and brainwashed me to become a cyborg." The doctor responds, "Your insurance doesn't cover cosmetic surgery but you can game the system by jumping off the roof." Asok is on the roof, standing next to a man with intensely large ears. The man says to Asok, "I hear that the follow-up visits don't get any easier."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame insurance carrier, give reason, master plan, parking lot, reason, remove all joy, tell kids, universe, no skateboarding

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The Boss and Carol are looking out the window at the parking lot below. The Boss says, "Carol, tell those kids they can't skateboard in our parking lot." Carol responds, "Should I give them a reason, or is this part of your master plan to remove all joy from the universe?" Catbert is standing by a globe. The Boss says, "They know about the plan." Catbert responds, "Fool! I told you to blame our insurance carrier!"