Help Desk Comic Strips - Page 4
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1000 Results for Help Desk
View 31 - 40 results for help desk comic strips. Discover the best "Help Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 10,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #sarcasm, #Dilbert, #warrior, #battle, #memos, #meetings, #image, #eternity, #life, #pathetic, #help
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his necktie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dogbert says, "The mighty warrior prepares for battle . . ." Dogbert continues, "Today, bold memos will be written, dangerous meetings will be attended, and many a photocopied image will be captured for eternity." Dilbert says, "If it weren't for sarcasm, my life would sound pathetic." Dogbert replies, "Glad to help."
Wednesday September 23,
1992
Tags #photograph, #Dilbert, #man, #invented, #something, #entire, #product, #obsolete, #plan, #wax, #desk, #hair, #work
Transcript
A man shows a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "His name is Dilbert. He invented something that would make our entire product line obsolete." The man behind the desk asks, "Do you have a plan?" The employee replies, "Uh . . . I could wax your desk with my hair again." The man says, "It's just crazy enough to work."
Monday November 02,
1992
Tags #failed, #driving, #test, #nine, #Dogbert, #school, #specialize, #problem, #application, #form, #special, #pointy
Transcript
A customer sits across from Dogbert's desk. The boy says, "I've failed the driving test nine times. Can you help?" Dogbert replies, "I specialize in the problem cases. Just sign the application form." The boy looks at the pencil and says, "Wait . . . I've seen one of these before. Yes, there's something special about the pointy end . . . But what?" Dogbert thinks, "Uh oh."
Monday December 21,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #report, #utilize, #facilitate, #replace, #implementation, #phase, #readable, #fax, #type, #size
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk reading a report while Dilbert stands waiting. The Boss says, "Good report, but change the word 'use' to 'utilize' in each case." The Boss continues, "Change 'help' to 'facilitate' and replace 'do' with 'implementation phase.'" The Boss continues, "Hmm . . . It's still a bit too readable." Dilbert replies, "I could reduce the type size and run it through the fax."
Thursday January 14,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #children, #power, #great book, #direction, #tv, #listings, #flipping
Transcript
Dogbert stands at a desk and types, "Although raising children is difficult, be assured that you will get help from a power greater than yourself." Dogbert types, "Teach your children about the higher power and about the 'Great Book' which will give them direction." A baby sits in a chair in front of a television. The father says, "They're called 'tv listings.' Without them, you're just flipping."
Monday May 10,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #susan, #department, #budget, #together, #branded, #life, #engineers, #spit, #guard, #raincoat
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to help Susan put the department budget together." Dilbert's tie stands up and he says, "Budget?!" Dilbert begs, "No, please! I'll be branded for life. The other engineers will spit on me." The Boss thinks, "Darn, his guard is up." Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "I'll have to wear a raincoat to work!"
Friday October 22,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #computer, #books, #reading
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters the room. Dogbert shouts, "You fool! You are nothing compared to me! Ha ha ha ha ha!!" Dilbert asks, "Have you been speed-reading my self-help books again?" Dogbert replies, "The idiots should put warning labels on those things."
Thursday October 28,
1993
Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #desk, #computer, #programming
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Ratbert and Dogbert sit on the desk. Dogbert says, "Don't feel bad because you're awkward, Ratbert." Dogbert continues, "There are people leading happy lives who are not only awkward but they're also homely and dull!" Ratbert asks, "Do I have to learn any computer skills?" Dogbert replies, "It seems like a requirement, but it's not." Dilbert says, "Hey!"
Friday January 14,
1994
Tags #Dogbert, #reincarnation fund, #rich already, #customer, #needs help, #van
Transcript
Dogbert: Invest you money in my reincarnation fund and you'll be rich in a future life. Man: But I a rich in this life, for I have love in my heart and music in my soul. So, can you help me push my van home? Dogbert: It looks like you'll also have sharp pain in your muscles.
Friday August 26,
1994
Tags #dignity enhancement, #help employees, #less money, #hire someone, #co workers
Transcript
The Boss: Sue was hired to run our new dignity enhancement program. Her charter is to help the employees feel good about themselves while they work harder for less money. Dilbert: How can we afford to hire somebody new? The Boss: Do you remember those cow orders you used to have?