Hired To Beat Comic Strips - Page 4
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264 Results for Hired To Beat
View 31 - 40 results for hired to beat comic strips. Discover the best "Hired To Beat" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 23,
2002
Tags #investment baker, #hired wesel, #media questions, #stock holders, #good for stcokholders, #parking lot
Transcript
Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert introduces a weasel to The Boss, "I hired a weasel to teach you how to answer media questions." The weasel says, "No matter what the reporters ask, always give the same answer 'It will be good for stockholders.'" The Boss is answering media questions. A reporter asks, "Is it true that you ran over a stockholder in the parking lot?" The Boss responds, "It'll be good for him."
Wednesday July 30,
2003
Tags #laughs alot, #hired, #morale, #big impact, #crazy alice
Transcript
"You laugh at everything, whether it's funny or not." "Ha ha ha!! It's true." "You're hired. You'll have a big impact on morale!" "Ha ha ha!! Yes, I will!" "Must stay alive." "HA HA HA!! COMPUTERS ARE FUNNY! HA HA!!"
Wednesday July 21,
2004
Tags #hired feral employee, #inexpensive, #untrained, #eat food, #run away
Transcript
I hired a feral employee. "He's inexpensive because he's totally untrained." "Chomp" "Ouch!" "So far he knows how to eat food and run away."
Wednesday September 22,
2004
Tags #dental evidence, #hired manager, #the hotline, #ethics questions, #ethics manager
Transcript
The Boss: "The company has hired an manager." "If you have any ethics questions, call the hotline." Dogbert: "That's fine, as long as you get rid of the dental evidence."
Tuesday May 31,
2005
Tags #hired a genius, #faking british accent, #ello bird, #sexy sounds
Transcript
"I thought I hired a genius." "But he turned out to be an ordinary guy faking a British accent." "'Ello, bird. 'Ow 'bout a spot o' tea? Whot do you say, gov'nor?" "Who's making those sexy sounds?"
Thursday November 03,
2005
Tags #boss's pet, #bully staff, #forehead wrinkles, #hired
Transcript
I see that you have lots of experience as a boss's pet. "Show me the face you'll use when you bully my staff behind my back." "Okay." "Nice use of forehead wrinkles. You're hired." "Grrrr..."
Monday November 21,
2005
Tags #hired abusive, #lying, #control freak, #difficult coworkers
Transcript
"I hired an abusive, lying, back-stabbing, control freak." "But don't worry, because I'm sending you to a class on how to deal with difficult coworkers." "Wouldn't it have been better to..." "I've heard bad things about that guy."
Monday June 25,
2007
Tags #hired nancy, #lightening, #can't strike, #lighting strike, #invites problems, #medical school, #cadaver
Transcript
I hired Nancy because she's had so many personal problems in the past year. "I figure lightning can't strike the same place more than ten or twelve times in a row." "It's not as if she invites problems." "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver!"
Tuesday July 10,
2007
Tags #fired, #job eliminated, #outsourced, #comapny, #need job, #hired, #comes back, #old job
Transcript
The Boss: "Ted, I'm going to eliminate your function and outsource it to the Dogbert Outsourcing Company." Ted: "I need a job." Dogbert: "You're hired." Ted: "I'M BA-A-ACK!"
Tuesday March 25,
2008
Tags #hired archaeologist, #desk clutter, #copier reapirman, #used tools, #not fast, #found in clutter, #skull of men
Transcript
Carol, I hired famed archaeologist Dogbert to find the budget report in the clutter of your desk. Dogbert: This appears to be a copier repairman skull, possibly a ricoh or kyocera. I think he used tools. Carol: Not fast enough."